BWW Recap: 'Mr. Solomon' is THE BLACKLIST's 'Red Wedding' Episode

THE BLACKLIST hasn't gotten completely self-referential, but when a proclaimed wedding episode is billed for weeks as #RedWedding, it's not only referencing its star but GAME OF THRONES, and if you invoke the Red Wedding from that show, there had better be gore galore. There is, but no one significant to the show dies in this wedding episode, which is a letdown compared to the original Bridal Bloodbath of comparison.

We start off with the escape of everyone's favorite annoying Professional Henchman of Evil, Mr. Solomon (who is rumored to be getting a spinoff series involving himself and Ryan Eggold, our Not-Tom - really, can they carry a show as those characters?) from a convoy of federal marshals, only to be rescued by an unseen person in a black Rolls.

Liz and Not-Tom bicker over wedding plans, because Liz has discovered the church is available THAT DAY and she's feeling spontaneous. That wild, zany kid! She meets up with Red in one of his typical gorgeous places in a room lined with old books and a great view, where Red says that Solomon's met up with an old acquaintance of Red's who handles nukes. Liz invites Red and Dembe to the wedding.

The Task Force has kittens over the discovery that Solomon is missing and that he's meddling in nukes. In the midst of chaos, Liz invites everyone to the wedding, which they can all attend as soon as they finish saving the world from Solomon. Then she asks Cooper to get an online ordination and conduct the wedding. Talk about that crazy spontaneity! Meanwhile, Solomon robs the Hunt Valley (Maryland) Nuclear Research Facility and tells a female associate that it's time to steal a warhead.

Not-Tom checks out the little white church in the suburbs while Liz gets his suit to, and apparently from, the cleaner, as General Baxter over at the Pentagon tells Cooper to keep his task force to himself and stay away from the nuclear warhead convoy on the Turnpike. Samar volunteers Mossad to check out Solomon's mercenary squad. Ressler says he refuses to be okay with Liz marrying someone who hurt her, even if she did torture him right back and chain him to a ship's dungeon for a while in retaliation.

Not-Tom goes home to change into his wedding suit but hears noise. It's Gina and the Major. Both profess deep disappointment in Not-Tom and the Major prepares to execute him with a "Goodbye, Jacob" and a silencer, when Gina shoots the Major. She kisses Not-Tom and again expresses her deep disappointment in him, for choosing Liz over her.

Solomon's female friend is a nukes expert gone rogue. Aram's tracked her to a Baltimore motel, which the FBI shoots to the ground while she and Solomon and his henchmen all escape. But her vehicle follows Solomon's and apparently cuts dead on her through Samar's super-Samar powers, while Solomon gets clean away. Ressler interrogates her. She wants immunity. General Baxter says to give it to her because she's revealed that the Turnpike convoy is known to be a decoy. The real route for the warhead is down I-95, where a bridge will be exploded.

Red drops in on Liz while Ressler and a bomb unit stare at an abandoned Van O'Bombs under a bridge along 95. He begs Liz not to marry Not-Tom; he's a criminal, and won't change his ways. Meanwhile, Jacob, Not-Tom, is dumping the Major's body. But, blinded by lurve, she orders Red out.

Liz continues to mope as Cooper comes by, and he comforts her, which is pastoral counseling now that he's an internet clergyman. Red asks his buddy the tow truck man why Solomon's friend's SUV died only to find that it didn't die at all; it was fine. Red realizes that Nukewoman has duped everyone, and that the 95 convoy is also a decoy, but for Solomon, who's really after Liz. Ressler orders scaredy-cat bomb squad teams into Van O'Bombs, and discovers that yep, it's empty.

Aram paints "Just Married" on a car in front of the church as Not-Tom arrives and tells Liz all about his exciting day and how he can't promise that all of this won't keep catching up with him. But Liz is fine, because, you know, she killed the Attorney General herself, so everyone has a flaw.

Ressler and a team head to the church, though Red, Dembe, and Red's minions, mostly Buck and a bagload of munitions, are ahead of them. The church has a super-scary ugly altarpiece painting, by the way. Just saying. Cooper is sermonizing while the pastor sits in the pew, while Red and company stroll in armed. Red fails to remove his hat inside the church, a piece of sartorial neglect that tells you that everyone is in Serious Danger. The sawed-off shotgun on his arm also suggests trouble. He tries to ask Liz to leave, but Solomon's men surround the church. (The words of every kung fu movie resonate. Poor fools, they've got Red surrounded.)

Red delegates Aram to get some innocents out. Aram does something action-like! Yes! Solomon calls in. His current employer wants Liz, alive, so if they'll just send her out, no one gets hurt. But NBC promised "Red Wedding." And there's time left in the episode, and no one's died yet. Naturally, Red, Not-Tom, and Cooper agree that Liz mustn't go, and the church must be barricaded. Shooting begins. Cooper asks Aram to help barricade the back of the church. More Aram action! There's yet more shooting into and out of the church. The organist is hit. Aram himself exercises serious first aid and chest compression, because Aram is being given Action Aram day. We like Aram proving he's not just the Chosen One of Computing. They need to let him out more often.

Liz looks like she's trying to give herself up, but no, she's just rescuing Red's bag of Things That Kill Other Bad Guys. The stuff that makes him a sort of good guy in a bad way. As Solomon gets restless and afraid of the police arriving, he orders his men to storm the church doors, but Dembe and Buck take everyone down, with Red and Samar backing them up from the altar as the Ugly Altarpiece is destroyed in a hail of gunfire to the relief of art lovers everywhere. One more minion of evil arrives at the door, but falls down, taken from behind by Ressler, who has just arrived and has missed all the wedding highjinks. Red orders Not-Tom to get Liz away, and they run off in the "Just Married" car as the police finally notice that there's been a small war down the road. We fade out to the sight of Red and Samar still taking down Solomon's minions like so many flies.

The trailer for next week indicates that This Does Not End Well anyway. Apparently what bullets can't do, Not-Tom's driving can; this time it's Liz in the hospital, with Dr. Nick hovering once more. That's why Red pays him the big bucks. Is Mama Rostova behind all this? Will Dr. Nick find another hospital where he isn't repairing series cast members all the time? Will Not-Tom and Solomon vanish together to start the pilot for their spinoff? And how much bleach and spot cleaner will Mr. Kaplan be using to wipe up that church? Share your thoughts below or at @MarakayBWW!

Photo Credits: NBC/Universal

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