BWW Recap: Jess is no Pinkman on NEW GIRL

NEW GIRL makes its triumphant return and they have blessed us with a bottle episode. All six of them in one room trying to get out of an awkward situation. Have mercy, the gang is BACK!

It's time for Winston's background check for the police academy. It shouldn't be a problem except, there is always a problem. This time, the problem comes in the form of Meth. Yup, it's as if Jesse Pinkman moved into the loft, Jess has a bag of Meth. When she bought a footstool in the wrong side of town, she opened it to find a bag of Meth and it never really occurred to her to get rid of it.

When the officer in charge arrives to interview the roommates, as one could imagine, they are not the best under pressure. Nick can't stop sweating, Coach is making up stories about Winston being a Big Brother and Jess is holding all the Meth in her bra. When Cece arrives, thanks to Jess' frantic phone call, she is about to accidentally reveal the secret when Schmidt just lays a huge kiss on her. (It was quite titillating.)

Jess is convinced that some of the Meth soaked into her chest and she is high on Meth. She and Cece try unsuccessfully down the toilet while Coach leaves to troll the neighborhood to find a fake Little Brother for Winston. Nick is left alone with the Officer and in a Chunk-esque fashion (#goonies), he starts spilling everything he ever did wrong. Finally, the jig is up and Jess comes clean to Winston. But what she really reveals is that nobody thought he'd ever become a good cop. Deciding to throw himself on the sword, Winston faces the music, but Jess confesses first. The Officer investigates and finds the "Meth" to be aquarium rocks. She tells them that Winston passed the background check as he is one of the best candidates, but he really needs to live elsewhere as he lives with a bunch of idiots. As it is all cleared up, Coach arrives with WInston's "Little Brother" DuQuan.

Oh so much enjoyment and so many little moments in this episode. What a great choice to have a bottle episode to showcase the strength of their group dynamic. There was a little hint at the chemistry that still exists between Cece and Schmidt and it was so nice to finally see Winston get a win. And the gratuitous, shirtless Max Greenfield scene is always appreciated, thank you.

MVP - Nick Miller. Your awkward moonwalking is only surpassed by your singing "Landslide" to calm down.

Runner Up - Jess. A psychosomatic effect has her convinced she's on meth and it's glorious.

Favorite Lines:

• Winston - I'm pretty sure they call her "the fish" because she's tough, but fair. Just like most fish I've interacted with.

• Jess - Why don't you go wait for her downstairs? Don't make her buzz up like a schwarma boy!

• Nick - Lying makes me sweat, I can't lie. that's why I don't play poker or talk to pregnant ladies.

• Schmidt - I've seen "New Jack City!" They all take their shirts off in the crack cocaine labs.

• Nick - I once changed a sign from "Happy Jewish New Year" to "Happy Newish Jew Year." Is that a hate crime?

What did you think of the new watered down opening credits? No more singing, but at least Coach and Cece are acknowledged. Did you enjoy this as much as I did? Follow me on Twitter @eponineq and follow @BWWTVWorld for all the latest updates, scoops and recaps.

Photo Credit: FOX

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