To deal with Bobby's death, and their own personal demons, everyone found some sort of gratuitous sexual gratification. Sure, Charlie Hunnam's on the cover of Men's Health looking wicked buff and explaining how he keeps that body so sculpted, but we are less than a handful of episodes from the series finale and I'm over the tight tush and abs. Let's end this. However, when the montage transitioned to Tully sodomizing a nonplussed Juice, I literally screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" so loudly that I'm surprised no one called the authorities. Maybe I live in Charming Part Deux, where the cops can't be bothered.
Tig had sex with Venus, and then got all "morning after" weird about it. Don't call him a "tranny humper" though. Despite it just being inappropriate, it could also lead to his shooting you in the crotch.
Unser foiled a plot to kill Officer Eglee (Marya Delver), who was still in the hospital. The would-be assassin was the sketchiest looking man in the world and still managed to wander the hospital unfettered. Along with its gang problem and corrupt police force, Charming must be known for its inept hospital personnel.
In prison, Tully sent Juice drugs, a book of poetry and petroleum jelly. Yikes.
While at the hospital, Jax was told that he had to go to Abel's school because the little psychopath had been clawing at his arm with a fork in order to frame Gemma. Granted, Jax didn't know this, but regardless he tried to pawn the responsibility on Gemma. It was insisted upon that he go though, because Child Services had been called and they wanted to see the father. Abel probably wanted to lay eyes on him, too. Regardless, Child Services could've taken Abel away and it would've been weeks before Jax would've noticed. I don't care how hot you are, Teller, you're a terrible father.
At school Abel "bravely" admitted that Gemma had been physically abusing him. Jax had a family meeting afterward to find out what the heck was going on. He couldn't understand why Abel would lie about such a thing, knowing that his grandmother would get into such trouble. Nero offered that maybe Abel was resentful of Gemma trying to take his mother's place. You're getting warm there, Nero, but hush up. Since Gemma could no longer be alone with Kid Crazy, Jax asked Wendy to move in with him, bringing the kids along with her. Could there be a JC Penney family portrait in their future?
After leading Moses (Mathew St. Patrick) into a trap, Jax pulled out one of his eyes; the socket dangling pathetically. Moses' fingers were also chopped off and then he was shot dead. This one's for you, Bobby!
Did Althea and Chibs really have an "It's Not You, It's Me" moment? Yep, they certainly did and it went a little "Fight Club" before turning, um, sexy?
Venus confessed to Tig that she was in love with him and assumed that he would end things with her. Tig blew her mind by telling her that he knew their situation was complicated, but he wanted her to be his. It was less possessive than it may come across in print; one could describe it as "tender" even.
Gemma didn't know who she was anymore, but she thought she might as well try being the Old Lady of a farmer.
On their first night under the same roof, Jax thought it would be a phenomenal time to tell Unstable Abel that Wendy was his biological mother. Wendy briefly cried, which I imagine was because she realized her child was from The Omen.
I hope there's a GIF in existence of Jax's face when Abel told him that Gemma killed his other mother. Too. Good.
Are you anxious for next week? What do you think Jax will say/do to Gemma? That farm will start looking better and better. Will Juice and Tully find love in a hopeless place? Let us know in the comments below.
Check out a sneak peek at next week's 'Suits of Woe' episode:
Photo Credit: FX
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