BWW Recap: 'Alexander Kirk' Creates Very Strange Bedfellows on THE BLACKLIST

Well, that was certainly a wild ride, kiddies. We still aren't clear if Liz is dead or only fake dead, which NBC might be saving for the season finale next week, but we got an answer tonight for which we didn't even have the question until three minutes before the end of the show. And the FBI robbed a bank so Red, rather than a Russian goon, can control the likely next President of the United States, who here is named... Diaz. There's a lot to read into that, or maybe not.

We start by watching Scottie (Famke Janssen) in action, in Jakarta, checking a kidnapper by freeing the victim before she goes in to barter for her, having already kidnapped the kidnapper's brother and demanding a three-times-higher ransom from him than he asked for the American girl. During this, she spins a yarn almost the style and length of one of Red's. After, Red tells the task force they'll be working with Scottie, because he admires her strategic planning. Translation: Red smells and respects an equal. Especially one who can draw out a story.

Red is playing with Liz's bunny, which may or may not have a secret, while watching Agnes. Not-Tom barges in, wants to talk Scottie, while Red wants to talk Agnes. Red explains that Scottie was merely doing a job for Alexander Kirk. Not-Tom immediately comprehends that they should go after Kirk, and so does the task force. It seems that Kirk is a crooked Russian billionaire (with a Scottish name, go figure?) who's been in hiding from the Russian government since 2002 and is bankrolling the Presidential campaign of Missouri senator Robert Diaz. Red says the easy way to flush out Kirk is to steal the campaign's funds. He and Scottie have a plan which involves the FBI stealing the money. This bothers the task force for exactly five seconds except for Ressler, who takes all of twenty seconds. Because, Liz. And stealing from the possible President? Well, "This is going to be a gas!" Welcome back to Season One once again, kiddies.

Scottie drops in on Agnes, terrifying Not-Tom. Tom blames her for Liz dying, but Scottie tells him they're all going after Kirk. She adds that she's lost a child and hopes for him that nothing happens to Agnes. Plus, she's sending Solomon to pick him up. Solomon, who is, Not-Tom explains, not his friend, choppers him to the secret Halcyon paramilitary training facility where the task force is already meeting with Scottie. Tom, Solomon, and a henchwoman assistant will go into the bank where Diaz's campaign funds are held and stage a phony robbery so when the FBI arrives, they will actually rob the bank. It's for Liz after all: "This is a revenge movie."

Our masked robbers ransack Key Atlantic Bank while Not-Tom befriends a little girl inside. A person decides to play hero, so Scottie's two robbers shoot the place up, accidentally hitting the little girl. Not-Tom takes her with them, grabs her dad outside, and they drive to meet up with an ambulance as the FBI does the actual thieving. They blow up the van and go on by foot. Not-Tom is turning into such a dad. Samar and Ressler go into the bank; he distracts the manager by checking the vault while Samar plugs a USB stick into the servers with Aram's help. Aram and the Halcyon eyes-everywhere camera dude access everything, but a retinal scan is needed to finish getting the money. Aram and the Halcyon guy have a beautiful geek bromance going on.

Not-Tom pops back to the hospital, where Agnes isn't. Pissed, he marches to Scottie's place and intrudes on her throwing a dinner for Diaz. She meets him in her private office there, where they argue and a uniformed maid produces a sleeping, bathed, neatly-wrapped Agnes. Scottie and Red, Evil Fairy Godparents.

Aram and his Halcyon buddy need one banker's retinal scans to access the millions in the Diaz account. He's in Germany at a party at the Turkish embassy. How can they get to him? Enter the ubiquitous Not-Tom, who volunteers to disguise himself as a Turkish terrorist who will get stopped in town and taken to the embassy to be shipped away. He gets in and through the place with the help of Mr. Eyes Everywhere, who gets him out of secure holding, into a waiter's uniform, and into the party, where he slips the banker a mickey. He also gets to use his German again. Solomon and henchwoman are driving the ambulance that takes the banker off. But the retinal scan fails -Not-Tom drugged him with an opioid that contracted his pupils. He and Solomon break into a pharmacy for counteractive eye drops, and Not-Tom shoots Solomon in the gut and leaves him. Because, Liz. Because, Solomon totally ruined that wedding.

By the time of the clear retinal scan, the bank president is trying to block access to the Diaz account. It's a race against time -will the retinal scan clear and the millions transfer before the blocking protocol finishes loading? Wait, this is drama-free because Aram and his new buddy from Halcyon are handling it, and Aram has proven his mighty powers before. Diaz heads to Scottie's to cry over his lost money, but she and Red explain that they took it because they want Kirk on a platter. Diaz chairs a committee before which Kirk could be forced to testify, and then they'll have him. Diaz swears he won't be a party to murder, but Red reminds him, "You will if you want to be President."

Kirk is subpoenaed to appear before the Senate. Cooper mutters that "when this started, Kirk was going to be the criminal controlling the President. Now it's Reddington." Given the people you've met in the current President's employ, Cooper, and how badly they've all been bought off, wouldn't Reddington's bought-and-paid administration be an improvement? Would you rather have Laurel or Mr. Kaplan running the NSA?

Not-Tom has Agnes baptized and the whole task force is the godparents, even Samar and Aram who aren't Christian. Because, Liz. Red watches from the back of the church and is gone before Not-Tom sees him.

Not-Tom drives back to Scottie's in a lather. Red urges him not to kill Scottie, because she may have answers to some of their questions, and because, well, remember her lost child? Remember how Tom/Jacob/whoever has never known who mama is? Wait - Not-Tom is Christopher Hargrave? Red warns him not to tell Scottie, as it will block getting answers. Scottie walks in as he looks at a photo of her and her lost child. She speaks of her lost son as Red once spoke of his lost daughter. Scottie is now officially identified as Red, Female Version. Then she hires Tom. "In my experience there's a very fine line between love and hate. We could do incredible things together." But please, Scottie, limit those incredible things with Tom/Jacob/Christopher, because that would just be wrong. And now we have the makings of the possible spinoff: Not-Tom and Secret Mom.

Is Not-Tom really Scottie's long-lost son? Who gets babysitting rights -Red, Scottie, or Mr. Kaplan? How did a Russian criminal wind up with a Scottish surname? And does Ted Cruz realize that if only he'd been from Missouri, he could have been the leading candidate for President? Questions? Ideas? Ways to make this insane spinoff work? Comment below, or tweet to @MarakayBWW!

Photo Credit: NBC/Universal

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