BWW Blog: Kathryn Mowat Murphy - Wisdom -AAHH, It Comes From Age

Wisdom---AAHH; it comes from age:

Sometimes I look at other people on Facebook and wonder what tragedy must have befallen them. They look so pained. I see these people every day and there is always a problem, always something they can complain about, yet they seem to have everything. I have come to realize that you can't please some people, and they enjoy being in misery. I run full speed in the opposite direction now. I did try for a while to help these people, thinking, like any optimist, that I could have an effect on these people. Unfortunately, my efforts went to no avail. The best thing about getting older is not giving a toss when something doesn't work out. I would have sleepless nights if I couldn't help someone or if they didn't like me, or if I wasn't included in some event. Now I shrug it off and move. Wisdom; I love it.

A good example of my wisdom came just last week. I received a call from my agent saying I had been invited to a major dance call for a current fabulous Broadway show. As always, my first reaction to an audition is a gut wrenching panic attack. I do not nor ever will like auditions, but it is a necessity of the business. I looked at the requirements and started to work on what I was to prepare. My biggest fear has always been that I may look like an amateur or just not represent myself in the best light. What happened in the next few moments was momentous for me. I actually relaxed. A voice said to me what will be, will be (thank you Doris Day), and for those who don't know who Doris Day is, shame on you. Anyway, I had this incredible calm come over me, and, low and behold, another feeling was there to replace the panic. It was excitement!

Was I actually looking forward to an AUDITION?

Fast forward two days later at the audition. I get there early, as I always do, and see a couple of young beautiful girls outside the audition studio. They are here for the same thing. Again, I am waiting for the panic, as now I am seeing two people at least 15 years younger than I am. I await, but nothing, just calmness. Wow, this is awesome. I wonder if someone has slipped a beta blocker into my coffee. I go about my business of warming up.

Now it has not been too long since my last Broadway call, but it has been a while since I have been in a room with girls who are in their late 20s and 30s. I remember when I was their age and how nervous I was back then, to the point of shaking. To cover this up I would appear stoic; this would probably read as stuck up, so, knowing this, I try to just break the barrier and be as friendly as possible. Finally we are let into the room and then this young fellow comes in. He looks 12. Very nice fellow, but still 12. After a minute, it dawns on me this is the casting director. I was probably wearing tights that were older than he was. I went over to him and introduced myself and said, "Hi I'm Kathryn Mowat Murphy and thank you for inviting me." I'm not sure what I expected him to say, but he just smiled, shook my hand, and said hi. The dance captain had now arrived and started teaching us the first combination. He was articulate, kind, and patient, all the qualities I love and appreciate. We went through the combinations, and then performed three at a time. Then once we were all done, and before the first cut was made, the casting director sat on The Edge of the table and told us a few pointers for the next audition. I stood there wondering why he was telling us things we should already know. Again, another realization dawned on me: people are going to auditions now without basic knowledge. The casting directors are almost giving a class at the auditions, as these young up and comers are proving to be unprepared. It seems no one is teaching these kids that bootie shorts are not appropriate. I was never a big fan of going to a casting director class, as some may be amazing at putting a person in a role but unable to get that person to the point of being able to do the role. I have spent a lot of money in the past to just sit in a class and meet these people, but learned nothing about how to further my skills. This is not true of all, as there are some excellent teachers/ casting directors, as demonstrated by the young man standing in front of me, but I feel too many unseasoned performers are signing up to be seen and to make contacts where really they should be going to the classes to learn the craft in its entirety.

They did a cut, and I was still alive. I felt great and, low and behold, I was having a ball. The combinations were fun; I remembered them and felt I did the work justice. They then asked us to sing our own 16 bars (I try my best but can't seem to do less than 24) and then the 16 bars they gave us to learn. I read the sides, and they said thank you, the standard Broadway kiss off.

I do have to say they were all fabulous in the room. They did not act snarky or make me feel like I needed to prove anything. They were sweet, supportive, and very relaxed. They did chat while I was singing my first inflated 16 bars, but I am used to that. I always wonder if they are just chatting randomly about dinner or if it was about me and they were discussing my resume. Who knows? I do know I liked them and felt good about my work that day.

The moral of the story is to always enjoy the process. It never ends and we all try to continue to be in the world we love no matter where we are in our careers. I have learned to be a lot more relaxed, and I have no attachment to any of the outcomes. It's not mine yet anyway, so how is it mine to lose. I choose to be positive; I chose to love my life no matter how successful or unsuccessful I appear. I look forward to my next audition now. I also look forward to being at Steps on Broadway the entire month of October teaching Jazz and theater. Come visit and play in my world of" it isn't rocket science it's just dancing." I would love to see you.

Until next time be happy.

Photo Credit: Bree Moon

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