DAVID LETTERMAN's Top Ten 'Things House Plants Have to Say”

• Below, check out David Letterman's Top Ten "Things House Plants Have to Say", as presented on the Wednesday, Feb. 6 broadcast of the LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN, seen weeknights (11:35 PM12:37 AM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.
• From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska...

10. "Watching you eat salad is creepy."

9. "Please ask the dog to stop 'watering' me."

8. "I had the most amazing photosynthesis last weekend."

7. "Your wife is sleeping with the UPS guy."

6. "I'm not going back on tour with Led Zeppelin." (Oh, I'm sorry, that's what Robert Plant has to say.)

5. "I absorb the CO2 you exhale - maybe try a breath mint."

4. "I'd like to thank the people of Colorado and Washington for legalizing me."

3. "For the love of God, put on some pants."

2. "With my ass in the dirt all day, I feel like the 49ers defense - hey-o!"

1. "Your cactus is a real prick."

The Late Show with David Letterman is a presentation of Worldwide Pants Incorporated. Barbara Gaines, Matt Roberts, Jude Brennan, Maria Pope, Eric Stangel, Justin Stangel and Rob Burnett are the executive producers.

The radio broadcast rights to the LATE SHOW Top Ten for the United States and Canada have been licensed exclusively to CBS Radio by Worldwide Pants Incorporated. No person, firm or corporation may make any radio broadcast or authorize any radio broadcast of the LATE SHOW Top Ten or any portion thereof within the United States or Canada without the express written consent of CBS Radio.