'Let's Win One for the Crumper!' is Released

According to a recently released spoof of presidential politics and National Football League intrigue, it could happen: A big loss on Nov. 8. Yet, the Republican Presidential candidate still eventually takes the White House by playing amazing "political football."

In the recently released dystopia "Let's Win One for the Crumper!" the affluent Ronald Crump is defeated in the 2016 presidential race. Nonetheless, just a scant two years later he takes over the White House. He did it by buying a floundering NFL.

A snippet from Crump's Nov. 9 concession speech reveals his resolve: "As General McCarthy from one of those world wars said, 'I shall return!' Sure, I don't use fancy, uppity words like 'shall,' but my sentiments are the same. 'The Crumper' does intend to occupy the White House...somehow...(sustained cheers!)

Here were the major developments that helped Crump assume the presidency in 2018:

• Golf overtook football as the national pastime. Pro football fans began to ignore the game.
• Professional football players went on strike after Crump bought the entire league and instituted a minimum wage for all players.
• The Greater Depression came next, eventually devastating the economy, and Crump and group of anonymous rich people then bought all of America at "yard sale" prices.
• The sitting president could not resist Crump's generous offer to sublet the White House.

"Let's Win One for the Crumper" was written by Dickie Fleegle, author of the four-volume, 65-episode "House of Curds" parody. The "Crumper" dystopia reveals Crump's early days as a Mayberry, N.C., love child and his quest for riches as he sells Aunt Bee's pickles. Later, with the nation in the throes of a Greater Depression, Crump artfully deals and acquires the National Football League, soon expanding it to 200 teams. From there, it's just a short step to Crump subletting the White House and, as long as he was living there, he figured he might as well lead the country, too. And play quarterback every weekend under the newly imposed 53-games-per-year schedule.

Go to DickieInTheEighth.com. for more information on the book that predicts how a savvy businessman and third-stringer on his junior high football team could miraculously become the NFL's MVP and the nation's somewhat beloved chief executive.
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