THE USHER CHRONICLES: Mind Your Manners! (Part Two)

One of the ushers surveyed felt compelled to offer this bit of advice to theatre managers: “I would like to see, in every Playbill handed out, a list of theatre etiquette reminders.  This would be a less invasive way of reminding patrons, and would help prevent ushers having to police some of the inappropriate actions of patrons.”  Yes, sometimes ushers feel like policemen or scolding nannies, the lapse in good manners has grown so big!  Tsk, tsk, theatregoers – your mother would be so disappointed!  (Of course, judging by some of the emails I got on this topic from last week, our mothers are as much to blame as anyone!)

Before I get to the top 5 theatre etiquette issues, I thought I’d share some thoughts from you.  The unwrapping candy (#6) got a lot of response: my new friend Jacob, writing from Utah, says that at a theater where he ushers, there are signs at the concession stand that tell patrons to unwrap their candy right there!  Seems that solves the problem, though, and with apparently little complaint.  Thanks, Jacob!  Also from Utah, though anonymously, one reader says, “The theater I manage has unfortunately started allowing food and drink into the theatre.  The rationale behind it?  The groundlings ate and drank during Shakespeare’s plays!  Can you believe it?  That’s all well and good, but the groundlings were in a pit, easily shoveled clean.  It took some fighting, but I convinced my team to at least stop selling candies that are in pieces and that roll when dropped – M & Ms are the WORST!” 

Having your ticket handy at all times (#10) also got some response:  One patron who does not usher wrote in to say, “I have been a season ticket holder for YEARS, and I know my way around a theatre.  I think it extremely rude that I am being asked more and more to show my ticket.  You would think that one of the benefits to subscribing would be to be able to come and go as I please.  After all, if it weren’t for season ticket holders like me, the theatres would shut down.”  And an usher who recently worked a “gravity-defying” hit musical in Chicago shared this: “That show is so popular, the scalpers are there like bees to honey.  And unsuspecting people can’t tell the tickets are no good.  We all were told about a special code imbedded in the tickets and by having them handy, we could check before the patron was embarrassed inside the theater.”  And so it seems the battle goes on…

And, now, without further adieu… house lights down… curtain up… lights to full… The Top 5 Rules of Theatre Etiquette That Patrons Need to Be Reminded Of”!

5. Please sit in the correct seat, and remain seated.

20% of the ushers offered this nudge to the ribs reminder.

WHY?  How do I put this delicately?  When seats are assigned, you sit in the one your ticket says to sit in!  Period.  No, no.  Let me be helpful.  There are a few reasons why it is important to sit in the proper location.  First of all, if there is a scale of ticket prices, and you paid for, let’s say, the “less expensive” option, it is wholly unfair to those patrons who paid more to sit where you have moved.  Now you may be thinking, “but there are whole rows empty in front of me, so, what’s the harm?”  No harm, but you are only entitled to get what you paid for.  Nothing more.  On a smaller scale, it is important not to move over to an empty seat in your own row, because inevitably, those seats belong to a late arriver.  And not only will there be commotion when seating the late comer, there would be the added noise of having to check you ticket (see number 10) and having you move as well.

Sub-rule:  Stay at your seat during the curtain call!  Live theater is not like the movies, where you get up and leave during the credits.  At live theater, the “credits” are live people, who have just worked their butts off to entertain you.  And they can see you leaving!  Remember this:  from the point of view of those onstage, you are turning your backs on them as they take their bows and thank YOU for being there.  It is like spending hours cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and everyone leaves the table not only empty handed, but without saying, “Thank you” to the hostess.  Is being 5 cars ahead in the garage really going to make that much difference in your busy schedule?

ONE USHER SAYS: At smaller theatres, even getting patrons to use an aisle is a hassle. “Find an aisle to go down instead of walking across the stage!  Once, during a period piece set in a shop in New York, some patrons walked right up on stage to handle the antique boxes of products on the shelves!  We had to station an usher on the stage to keep patrons off.  They should come in and just sit down.”

4. Please remember that photography (and any other kind of recording) is not allowed.

23% of the ushers offered this smack you on the hand reminder.

WHY?  Let’s work from the house to the stage on this one.  In the house, flashes going off are extremely distracting to other patrons.  From the stage, flashes going off are extremely distracting to the actors.  They are also extremely dangerous.  Unplanned flashes, as opposed to the use of strobe lights, can cause a dancer, for example, to look away from a mark for a split second, and fall, bump into another dancer, and very possibly injure themselves or others.  The theatre is littered with sad stories of career-ending knee twists and falls in the pit, all due to an unexpected flash.  The same goes for the little red light on a video recorder which, when all you see in front of you is darkness, can really stand out and be distracting and dangerous.  And in this day and age of law suits, remember by recording a show in any form without the express permission of the producers, you are breaking the law.  It is a little thing called copyright law.  Everything about a show, from the logo painted on the souvenir booth to the spear carried on by soldier number 4 is copyrighted by the production.  Even the choreography in a musical is subject to copyright.  Punishment for violating this can range from a warning to confiscation of the film and/or the device, to arrest.  You have to ask yourself, is a picture of Elphaba in green smoke, which won’t come out anyway, worth losing your camera or going to jail?  If you want pictures that bad, buy a program!

FROM THE I WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT IF I HADN’T SEEN IT MYSELF FILE:  One patron, during a particularly famous football game, was apparently dragged to the theater unwillingly, and brought along his earphones and PORTABLE TELEVISION.  He was actually surprised and angered when he was asked to put it away!  Seems he didn’t realize that everyone around him was subject to the glow of the screen, and that because he was sitting DIRECTLY behind the conductor, that glow was distorting the view of the baton in the monitors the cast was watching for song cues!  Sad, but true.

3. Please don’t talk during the show.

31% of the ushers offered this I’m-going-to-tape-your-mouth-shut reminder.

WHY? Duh.

ONE USHER SAYS: “Too many people think they are at home watching the show on DVD.”

2. Please be on time for the show.

34% of the ushers offered this tapping foot impatiently reminder.

WHY?  Well, first of all, as patrons constantly remind anyone who will listen, “For what I paid for these tickets (insert complaint here).” You paid a lot to see the show.  You should really be there on time to see the whole thing.  Secondly, when you are late, it disrupts everyone around you.  Thirdly, with the exception of emergencies beyond anyone’s control (the highway being closed because someone jumped off an overpass - this actually happened last summer), you know that traffic is never a sure thing, so LEAVE EARLY!  What’s the worst that can happen?  You’ll get there early and have to wait.  Big deal.  For what you paid for your ticket, you should be allowed to stand outside the theatre for an extra 15 minutes.  Finally, a lot of shows have seating holds. 

THEATRE-SPEAK DEFINITION: Seating hold – a set amount of time after the performance starts when no patrons are allowed to be seated.  The producers of each individual show set this time.  The reasons for seating holds are for a variety of reasons, including: the director does not want the opening mood disrupted, the scene is very dark and doors opening and letting in light can be distracting to performers and audience, alike, or there may be action in the aisles and they must remain clear.

ONE USHER SAYS: “They should check their tickets when purchased and make sure they are attending the correct performance, date and time.”  I, personally, have had patrons say, “When I bought these tickets they said 2PM, not 1PM!”  That is a much bigger issue.  Magic tickets really aren’t part of an usher’s duties.  So ushers, when you get magic tickets, get a house manager right away (and call Harry Potter, too)!

ANOTHER USHER SAYS: “At Center Stage, patrons are not seated in their own seats if they are late.  They are put into whatever seat is convenient in the back of the theatre, and they may only take their real seats at intermission.”

1. TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE!

40% of ushers offer this it-is-so-rude-you-don’t-get-a-please reminder.

WHY?  Well, not only are you reminded prior to the performance by the now requisite announcement prior to curtain, but cell phones are a major distraction.  For everyone.  Even on vibrate.  Vibrate still makes noise.  Oh, for the good old days when sound systems weren’t sophisticated enough and cell phone calls would broadcast over the speakers – first time that happens during the matinee of The Sound of Music, and the hills are alive with the sounds of cell phones being turned off.  Now, I understand some theatres have installed signal blockers!  And good for them! 

Side note:  Ushers have cell phones, too.  So we know that when you are holding your cell phone at arms length, and slowly waving it around, you aren’t trying to get a better signal.  We know you are taking a picture.  (See #4, please.)  The bottom line is this:  if you need to have your phone on because someone might call with an emergency, why are you at the theatre in the first place?  If there is potentially a problem with a loved one, say an imminent baby due date, or a nearly dead aunt taken off life-support, shame on you for being at the show and not with your family!  Tickets to The Lion King aren’t worth it.

 

And there you have it – the top 5 rules to remember when attending live theatre.  Please feel free to send me your comments at:  jameshoward@broadwayworld.com.  I look forward to your stories, arguments and support.  If it is good enough (even if we don’t agree) I’ll add your two cents in, too!  Thanks for reading!

 

COMING SOON:  Ushering:  Why We Do It!

 

 

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