Student Blogger: Madeline Stutte

I was never nervous about auditions until I got into high school. I didn’t really have a sense of stakes, I wasn’t in any theaters that cut actors in the audition process, and I was consistently getting leading roles. However, once I entered the world of competition and professionalism as a teenager, my anxiety kicked in incredibly quickly. I figured the only way I could move away from this anxiety was being authentically myself.

I’ve always been an extremely moral person academically. I’ve never cheated on a test, plagiarized a paper, or broken a rule of academic integrity. However, now that I’m a major in comedic writing, the line between original works and stealing an idea gets unexpectedly thin.

As a young performer, it was always my dream to attend a prestigious, impossible BFA program at an academically focused school. However, as I grew as a person, I quickly realized that a traditional college experience just wasn't for me. The first time I visited Columbia College Chicago was just a confirmation of those feelings, and I couldn't be more grateful that I chose a non-traditional school to continue my education in the performing arts.

I'm the type of person that always needs something to do. Whether it's with school, performing, writing, assistant teaching, or really any activity I can get my hands on, I know I'll always make myself busy. However, this leads to something that I as a teenager know very well: burnout. For me, burnout feels like a weight pushing down on my head, making me so unimaginably mentally tired that my eyelids can't help but flutter closed. It's a feeling I dread, because I know it means I have to take a moment away from my activities to breathe and pull myself together.

Turning eighteen is a milestone in any teenager’s life. It brings a newfound sense of freedom to the world, allows young people to try new things, and helps us get a grip on adult life. However, as a college student and performer in a large city, this otherwise small milestone is much more important. I graduated a year early in high school, and went straight to college at seventeen to pursue musical theatre and comedy. For the most part, my age wasn’t a problem and I could live college life to its fullest. However, as soon as I began to audition for productions in my area, I ran into a tough issue.

I’m only three months into my freshman year as a double major in musical theatre and comedy writing, and I’m already the busiest I’ve ever been in the entirety of my life. Being able to balance full-time school, auditions, my professional comedy group, and seasonal work while also attempting to leave myself some time to relax is difficult, to say the least. However, given all of these commitments, it’s been a fantastic opportunity to improve my knowledge and skills in commitment, time management, and self-care.

Halloween is my favorite holiday and, let's be honest, I'm quite a perfectionist about it. Every detail of my Broadway-themed costume has to be perfect from head to toe, and I always have to have something to do on the night of the holiday. However, this year is different. Having taken note of my money in the past month or so, I realized quickly that I had to get creative this season. I set myself a budget of fifty dollars, put together a costume plan, and got to work.

College. It's something I've dreamed of since middle school. I kept a notebook in my desk in sixth grade that planned out my entire future- I'd get accepted to a musical theatre BFA (Bachelor's of Fine Arts) program from a prestigious school in New York, graduate with honors, and start my career with wild success. I guess I never let go of that dream as I grew up. As middle school ended and high school began, I still knew exactly what I wanted in life. I worked hard, moved up a year, and started immediately on my BFA applications with high hopes. In the end, I wasn't accepted to a single program.