Males Order Brides at Port Aransas Community Theatre

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2. Males Order Brides

Here comes the bride!  Actually, we should say brides — four of them supposedly, to marry a quartet of love-starved citizens. 

The husbands-to-be include two bachelors, lumberjack (and hero) Forrest Green and saloon owner Lucky Betts, and two widowers, grizzled prospector Grubby Shurtz and respectable banker C.D. Nichols.  If only their brides were real! 

The unscrupulous and shifty lawyer, Big Harry Deal, has hired an actress, Starr Billings, to impersonate all four fiancés.  Starr has a quite a job, needing to portray schoolmarm Modesty Virtue for Forrest, saloon hostess Lola Palooza for Lucky, prospector Golda Miner for Grubby and society matron Indigo Bloodline for C.D.  Harry’s scheme is to lure the bridegrooms into a mine shaft on the night of the quadruple wedding and blow them up, leaving Starr a wealthy widow to all four.  The plan goes astray when Forrest realizes he’s actually in love with Grubby’s tomboy daughter, Calico (our heroine). 

The hilarious climax with all four fiancés seen simultaneously (in a frenzy of costume changes) will make you think twice before saying "I do" — at least ’til you know who to!