BWW Reviews: Creators of The 50 Shades Parody Deserve a SPANKing

Disappointing sex is not nearly as bad as disappointing theatre. At least disappointing sex is still sex, and it's usually over in far less than 2 hours.

It doesn't get much more disappointing than Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody, an incredibly misguided spoof of the equally misguided novel Fifty Shades of Grey. Every joke in this awful show is predictable, expected, bland, and punctuated by ferocious dry-humping.

Granted, the source material is perfect fodder for ridicule. Initially written by middle aged E.L. James as a piece of Twilight-inspired fan fiction, Fifty Shades tells the tale of virginal college student Anastasia Steele and her relationship with the sexy and mysterious ChristIan Grey, a man with a love of bondage and kink. While the book and its sequels have sold millions of copies and have inspired the term "mommy porn," I have yet to hear anyone call the book well-written or inspired, and it is seemingly the perfect vehicle for parody.

Like Fifty Shades, Spank's weakest point is in the writing. The key to any successful parody is the ability to deliver more than just the expected joke. Some of the most memorable jokes in Young Frankenstein involve rolls in the hay, huge (door) knockers, and police inspectors with wooden body parts, none of which would be the expected joke given the source material. Likewise, one of the most riotous moments in Monty Python and the Holy Grail involves a man-eating bunny, once again not included in the original Arthurian legend.

Sadly, the seven-person writing team responsible for Spank! (yes, one person wrote the crappy novel but it took seven people to write this trash for the stage) sacrifices originality for the expected. If you expect jokes about sexual organs and sex acts, you'll get them, but sadly that's all you'll get. I'm all for a good penis joke, but after about five minutes, the jokes just aren't funny anymore. It's clear from their formulaic approach that the writers know that sex jokes can't carry the show. You can almost hear their head writer and director Jim Millan saying, "When in doubt, throw in a male striptease, an equally bad song parody, or have the actors wander into the audience to embarrass people in the front row."

Thankfully, there are some bright spots in the three person cast. As the ChristIan Grey-esqe Hugh Hanson, Drew Moerlein is brilliant. A gifted comedian, Moerlein is able to bring out both the sexually depraved and the cultured, subdued sides of his character. He also has a fantastic singing voice, but you're more likely to remember his abs. As the Anastasia Steele inspired Tasha Woode, Alice Moran is hysterical as she plays up the ditzy, airhead qualities of a virgin who is so easily led into the bondage scene. Unfortunately, the third cast member, Suzanne Sole, is not nearly as effective. As E.B. Janet, a clear riff on Fifty Shades scribe E.L. James, Sole is one-note and over the top at all times. As she narrates the show, she constantly pulls focus by either dry-humping the non-existent set or by groping her inner thighs and breasts.

The only thing that makes the terrible writing of Spank! more troubling is the overly positive response it gets from the audience. Though this reviewer knows that the show could be smarter and funnier than it is (if Tasha has to sing, why not have her try to sing a love song with a ball gag in her mouth?) the crowd of middle-aged women on their 3rd glass of chardonnay for the evening hoots and hollers at every predictable joke. But despite the response from other audience members, to me Spank! is as awkward and clumsy as two teenagers fumbling in the dark. If you want to experience bondage for two hours and don't mind paying for it...well let's just say there are other ways that will likely give you more bang for your buck.

NOTE: Recommended for mature audiences only.

Running time: 1 hour and 50 minutes, including one 15 minute intermission.

SPANK! THE FIFTY SHADES PARODY plays The Long Center for the Performing Arts at 701 W. Riverside Drive, Austin 78704 on Friday 6/7 and Saturday 6/8 at 7:30pm. Tickets are $39-$49. For tickets and information, please visit www.thelongcenter.org

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