The Broadway Fake Book: Broadway's Music Box Theatre to be renamed for Jason Robert Brown

At a breakfast press conference held this morning at Angus McIndoe, a representative of the Irving Berlin Estate stunned the Broadway community by announcing that the Music Box Theatre, the historic home of Berlin's Music Box Revues, will be renamed The Jason Robert Brown Theatre.

"It's a sweet sixteen present", chirped Amber Berlin, great-great granddaughter of the beloved composer/lyricist who wrote "God Bless America" and "There's No Business Like Show Business". "When your parents are divorced they're always competing with each other to try to prove who loves you the most. So I said to them, 'Jason Robert Brown is the greatest songwriter ever and whoever can get a Broadway theatre named after him is obviously the one who loves me the most.' And Daddy won!'"

The Music Box Theatre was built in 1921 by Irving Berlin and producer Sam Harris, who later sold his share to the Shuberts. It is now co-owned by the Berlin Estate and The Shubert Organization. Throughout his later years, Berlin continually turned down requests to have the name of the theatre changed in his honor.

"Have you ever heard 'Stars and the Moon'?", continued the young Ms. Berlin. "Isn't it the greatest song ever! My great-great grandfather wrote another song about stars and the moon, but it's not as good."

"Naturally I'm flattered by the honor", offered Brown, "but I'm not surprised. Harold Prince once called me the next George Gershwin, and since he has a theatre named after him I see no reason why I shouldn't. You know, a lot of people call Parade 'The Jewish Porgy and Bess.' And both shows ran for the same number of performances during their initial Broadway runs. I think that's worth noting."

"We're going to have a big ceremony unveiling the new marquee on opening night of Jason's new musical.", Ms. Berlin squealed as she gestured with her hands, "'The Jason Robert Brown Theatre'. We're trying to get Britney Spears to be there and sing "Summer in Ohio'. It's gonna be so awesome! Tell them about your new musical, Jason!"

At this point in the press conference all the free coffee and pastries were gone. While the few remaining reporters quietly left the room, many visibly shaken, they could hear Brown's voice continuing, "I'm working on a new musical version of 'The Wild Party'. I know how to make it work. The key element is that Burrs was Jewish and the whole Lower East Side develops this mob mentality because Queenie, a gentile girl, is accused of murdering him..."

Follow up phone calls to The Shubert Organization found no representatives willing to comment on the name change, although during one call voices in the background could be heard.

"Has Jerry come out of his office yet?", asked one voice.

"No.", answered a second. "He's been in there crying all morning."

The Broadway Fake Book, a series of theatre-related news items that have nothing to do with reality, looks forward to many years of inventive musicals by the very talented Jason Robert Brown.

For Michael Dale's "mad adventures of a straight boy living in a gay world" visit dry2olives.com