Review: CHLOE PETTS: HOW YOU SEE ME, HOW YOU DON’T, Soho Theatre

“Why have you brought a glossary to dinner?”

Comedians may have told Chloe Petts that comedy is subjective, but Petts is determined to prove them wrong. In How You See Me, How You Don’t, Petts wants every single person in the world to enjoy the show, whether they’re a young queer person or a Crystal Palace football fan - or both!

In order to accommodate the wide variety of audience members, Petts begins with a glossary that she has made for the show, ranging from more serious terms like “deadname” to “trolls [Internet]” and “trolls [pencil toppers].” There is also a hilarious improvised definition she comes up with for nominative determinism, using the dark example of “Lady Di,” which gets such a strong reaction it immediately makes it in for future shows.

Most of How You See Me, How You Don’t follows Petts as she gets a Saturday morning slot on Sky Sports News, finally bringing some comedy to the sports channel. While getting this slot is a dream for Petts, it does bring internet trolls out of the woodwork, calling Petts a “woke snowflake” for championing women’s football - though she argues that this actually makes her more toxic. But Petts doesn’t appear to be upset with the trolls at first. In fact, she pities them, making comments like how it’s “Baby’s first misogynistic slur” and laughing at some of the things being said about her. However, as the show continues, more is revealed about Petts and how she views herself, particularly her gender identity. 

Quite a few bits in the show are based on relatable content, including a great section about “Ask for Angela” that leads to a consensus that the alternate version for me should be “Ask for Ange Postecoglou,” the Head Coach of Tottenham Hotspur, a suggestion by an audience member that led to a congratulatory high five by Petts.

I found myself particularly relating to about the struggle of being addicted to your phone and not just the applications on it as some believe. Some fun popular culture references are thrown in as well, including a hilarious rendition of what Petts imagines a straight version of Queer Eye to be like. I am the type of person who loves a good callback and Petts prove to be a master of them in this show, bringing things back from the beginning of the show that were merely mentioned and tying them in with ease. 

There is a little bit of crowdwork in the show, with most of it being focused on a man named Will in the front row who Petts is constantly turning back to in order to see his reaction, something she herself acknowledges several times. 

Towards the end of the show, we learn a bit more about Petts as a child, including the fact the she has never actually been bullied (“You don’t bully C. Petts), which may come as a surprise to those of us who grew up queer and had to face an unaccepting world, especially those of us who went to an all girls school as Petts did. As someone who did not grow up in the UK, I was a bit confused when Petts discussed being the Head Girl of her school in Year 13, as well as the joys of having her Best Friend as her Deputy Head Girl. However, the comment “Not all lesbians were Head Girl, but all Head Girls were lesbians” definitely helped paint a picture in my head!

How You See Me, How You Don’t ends with a surprisingly powerful (yet still funny) monologue, the one Petts wishes she could give to the trolls who have harassed her on the Internet for simply being herself, finally realising that it is impossible to win all of the trolls over, no matter how many fantastic jokes she tells. 

The show is a brilliant hour of comedy that enables Petts to tell the story of not only her trolls but her own life and how her past has brought her to her present. Petts is an incredibly talented comedian and storyteller and I look forward to seeing more from her in the future. To fulfil her wish for what the audience says at the end of the show, “I like you and I think you’re hot.”

Chloe Petts: How You See Me, How You Don’t runs until 14 June at Soho Theatre.

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