Music Review: Laura Osnes Single Not One Of MY FAVORITE THINGS

Like a bull coming out of a chute, the new single MY FAVORITE THINGS starts without warning, without warm-up, and without a shred of discernible consideration for the listener.  An honest-to-goodness  assault on the ears, this cloying and saccharine two-and-a-half minutes of music acts as an audible ugly sweater for Christmas, making a person ask themself, “What were they thinking?!” 

This holiday single of a not-holiday song from a musical that has nothing to do with Christmas was released on November 25th and the name directly under the song title is Lyceum Philharmonic.  The recording is not, however, a Lyceum Philharmonic production.  Lower on the song’s graphic is the name Laura Osnes, in the same font as the title of the song, and even though the graphic says “featuring Laura Osnes” this is, in fact, a Laura Osnes production - that much is to be gleaned by the Spotify page that says © 2023 Laura Osnes.  The questionable billing might be confusing but a copyright is a copyright.  So the big query of the day is:  who is to blame for this musical mess?   Online research shows that the twice Tony-nominated actress performed this number with the Lyceum Philharmonic last December and that the conducting Maestro was Kayson Brown.  For the single, Maestro Brown is back, and with a producing credit (along with Osnes and Chris Meek).  Brown may be conducting and producing but the arranger credit for the treatment goes to Marden Pond, and that is where we should start.

The orchestra sounds wonderful on the recording, and kudos to them, but the arrangement is scattered and lacks focus, with the natural flow of the lyrics broken up by instrumental interjections requiring that the actress singing the famous lyrics take regular pauses so that the instruments can be heard.  Speaking honestly, there isn’t a great deal of depth to be mined in the lyrics - it’s a list song with a great message at the very end, starting at “when the dogs bite” and going through “then I don’t feel so bad.”  But even in a list song like this (perhaps especially in a list song like this) it is important to tell a story, and that story is divided, every few words, by completely superfluous musical interruptions built into an arrangement that becomes insistently more frantic and anxious.  Listeners might, well, need a meditation, a lie-down, or a stiff drink when the whirlpool of a recording ends.  HOWEVER… If the vocal track were removed, the orchestra and the arrangement would work well, presenting like a portion of a symphony movement or a ballet, because then the lyric needs of the story would not be affected by the treatment.  It would simply become a musical tale being told by an accomplished orchestra.

On the topic of removing the vocal track - it wouldn’t be a bad idea because, as much as the arrangement is the foundation of the failure of the recording, the structure on top of that foundation is the frenetic and unhinged performance being given by Ms. Osnes.  An obviously well-trained singer (as all have witnessed over the years), Laura Osnes is delivering a rendition of the R&H classic that is completely devoid of purpose or pleasure.  It seems as though she went into the recording booth and just screamed into the microphone from the moment the recording engineer said go.  The notes are on pitch and the voice is as pretty as it ever is, but the song begins as though someone fired a starting pistol and Laura Osnes just needed to cross that finish line.  But this isn’t a long-distance run, it’s a sprint to the end and the entire performance feels manic and out of control, and that isn’t like the Laura Osnes who was so brilliant on Broadway in Bandstand, and who fit the role of Cinderella like a Manolo Blahnik.  It is surprising and a little sad to hear a recording by a major star go so far off the tracks.  But you can’t win every time.  People try things and sometimes they work, others they don’t.  This is one of those times when it didn’t work, and this single will go on neither my Christmas playlist nor my own, personal, list of favorite things.  

MY FAVORITE THINGS by Laura Osnes and the Lyceum Philharmonic is available now on all streaming platforms.