Horse Trade Theater Group to Present 5th Annual WINTER BURLESQUE BLITZ, 12/26-29

End your holidays on a sexy note with Horse Trade Theater Group's 5th Annual Winter Burlesque Blitz featuring performances by Hot Mama Burlesque, Dark Carnival Burlesque, Shocks & C*cks (and Shocks Without C*cks), The Pink Room: David Lynch Burlesque, The Bible: This Is Your Life!, William Shakespeare's Bardlesque, and the popular storytelling burlesque show, Bare.

Hot Mamas Do the Holidays Presented by Hot Mama Burlesque Thursday, December 26 @ 8pm The world's original all-moms burlesque revue hopes to give you a holiday gift you'll never forget! A slew of bodacious burly-Q breeders exploring all sides of motherhood through striptease and song: the upside, the downside and the backside. These aren't your grandmother's daughters! Featuring performances by Ginger Baker, Niki Tiki, Miss Ivy League, Lolita Von Cake, Kat Mon Dieu, Cosmic Girl, Little Brooklyn, The Incredible Edible Akynos, Viva Calliente, and Dot Mitzvah with your host Raven Snook.

Recalled Dolls Presented by Dark Carnival Burlesque Thursday, December 26 @ 11pm Dark Carnival Burlesque presents you with a very special gift the day after Christmas. Come get what you really wanted to find under the tree...but didn't. These are the toys your parents warned you about...the Recalled Dolls that good little children mustn't play with, but they want to play with you... Featuring performances by Kat Mon Dieu as the Porcelain Doll, Gothic Hangman and Lil Horn as the Ventriloquist and his Figure, Lilet St. Sunday as Articulated Doll, Viktor Devonne as Pierrot Doll, Cassandra Rosebeetle as Harlequin Doll, Faux Pas as Wind Up Doll, Bunny Buxomm as Marionette Doll, Kristen Lee as Blow-Up Doll, and Magic Max as Shibari Maestro.

Double Header: Shocks & C*cks: All Nude All Dude Revue Shocks WITHOUT C*cks: All Nude NO Dude Revue Presented by Porkpie International Friday, December 27 @ 8pm & 9pm First the infamous all-nude, all-dude revue returns for the sixth time with your favorite c*ckteasers, new nudes, and very special guests including international shocksation Rose Wood. Then, the c*ck-less finally have their chance to put their full-frontal freakiness on display when Shocks WITHOUT C*cks, the all-nude NO Dude revue hits the stage for the first time ever! Never has so much imagination gone into leaving nothing to the imagination. Featuring performances by Jonny Porkpie, Hard Cory, Mat Knife, the legendary Rose Wood, Jenny Mincepie, Cheeky Lane, Dangrrr Doll, Nikki Knickers, pickup artist Clara Coquette, and more!

The Pink Room: David Lynch Burlesque Presented by Francine "The Lucid Dream" Friday, December 27 @ 11pm Bringing David Lynch-inspired burlesque to NYC and beyond since the anniversary of Laura Palmer's death in 2011.

The Bible: This Is Your Life! Presented by Lefty Lucy Saturday, December 28 @ 8pm In a world where Santa is inescapable and shopping is the best way to spread and obliterate cheer, The Bible: This Is Your Life! takes a look between the sheets of the greatest story ever told and strips it bare with blasphemy and boobs. Join The Schlep Sisters, Jenny C'est Quoi, Rosey La Rouge, and more as they journey through the events of the Old Testament through the new one, and find out why we'll take the gold but leave the myrrh. Who knew a 2000-year-old book was this sexy?

William Shakespeare's Bardlesque Presented by The Cyn Factory Saturday, December 28 @ 11pm Burlesque performers are putting their BFAs to good use by brushing up, and stripping down, their Shakespeare. Soliloquies will be stripped to. Familiar scenes will escalate to new, naked, heights. The bard's most beloved characters will strut and fret their way into your heart, mind, and chief reproductive organ. Featuring performances by Miss Mary Cyn, Peter Aguero, Miss Poison Ivory, Miss Charles Stunning, Michael "Thunder Muppet" Villastrigo, and Iris Explosion.

Bare. Hosted by Peter Aguero Sunday, December 29 @ 8pm Hosted and curated by Peter Aguero, Bare. pairs raw stories with raw burlesque. Featuring stories by Jon Read, Jackson McKeehan, Ophira Eisenberg, and Peter Aguero with burlesque performances by Bombazeen Bean, Charles Stunning, Amelia Bareparts, and Miss Mary Cyn.

The 5th Annual Burlesque Blitz will heat up The Kraine Theater (85 East 4th Street between 2nd Avenue and Bowery) December 26, 27, 28, & 29. Tickets to all shows ($20; 2 for $30) are available online at www.horseTRADE.info or by calling Smarttix at 212-868-4444.