Dear Westboro Baptist Church: You Have It All Wrong About Kristin Chenoweth

If you've been reading the Twitter feed of the Westboro Baptist Church, those infamous pervayors of hate, intolerance and boring sex lives, you've no doubt seen this memo regarding a big rally planned for tonight at Kansas State University protesting the concert performance of Kristin Chenoweth.

That's right, Kristin Chenoweth. The Westboro Baptist Church is taking a break from their regular routine of harassing Jews, homosexuals and attendees of military funerals to voice their grievances against one of Broadway's best known practicing Christians.

This is apparently just a sad misunderstanding. What the WBC fails to note is that theatre people see Chenoweth as a prophet sent to spread the sacred word of the Bible we call The Great Broadway Songbook.

You write, "As the song says... 'God gave you a blessed life, but you strayed for sin and vice!"

But as Fred Ebb wrote in another song, "Life is a cabaret," and any cabaret that doesn't feature a little sin and vice risks getting its liquor license revoked.

You say, "You made the f--s a god." Now, while we no longer use the word f-s to describe homosexuals (except in an ironic sense, but a sense of irony may not be one of your strong points), the prophet Stephen Sondheim wrote, "I can understand a person if a person was a f--," a clear statement of love and acceptance.

You quote John 14:15 "If ye love me, keep my commandments," but Hammerstein Act I:Scene 1 says, "If I loved you, time and again I would try to say all I want you to know," expressing a preference for a two-way communication.

"Jesus Christ is the Word, and His word is: Flee Fornication!!"

No, no, no... Cole Porter is the Word, and His word is "Let's do it!"

You write, "God Hates Proud Sinners," so why does God allow GYPSY to get revived so often?

As the prophet Ira Gershwin noted, "The things that you're li'ble to read in The Bible, it ain't necessarily so."

P.S. - If you're ever in New York, go see THE CHRISTIANS. It's all about good people having contrasting views of what The Bible means. You'll hate it.