BWW Interviews: Reichen Lehmkuhl Talks GAY ITALIAN WEDDING

It's hard to believe that Reichen Lehmkuhl was ever thought to be ugly. In his autobiography, Here's What We'll Say, he writes of a note that a girl left in his middle school locker: "She went on to tell me I was ugly, disgusting, and to top it off, a total geek." He then discusses how he was considered unattractive even as he entered the United States Air Force Academy.

Sitting across from the man backstage at St. Luke's Theatre, where he's starring in Anthony J. Wilkinson's comedy My Big Gay Italian Wedding, finds Lehmkuhl to be the antithesis of the school girl's assessment. He's good looking...Strike that... He's very good looking... Strike that, too... He's extremely handsome... No, that doesn't quite describe him either... He's absolutely the personification of male beauty. Yes, that's it! His skin is smooth and clear. There isn't a blemish or shaving nick to be found on his face. His green eyes are both intense yet kindly, and his features rival anything that Michelangelo sculpted: only Reichen Lehmkuhl isn't composed of Carrara marble. He's a warm, caring, and intelligent individual who is making his stage debut in this Off Broadway production. In fact, the audience gets to see how chiseled and beautiful he is early in the play when he performs a scene clad only in his tightie whities.

So how did this ugly duckling of the middle school set become the buff and articulate man he is today? He admits that he started working out before he entered the Air Force Academy in an effort to keep up with the rigorous schedule he anticipated during his first year and basic training. Speaking in a clear voice that has a beguiling boyish quality, Lehmkuhl states: "In my sophomore year something happened; I guess I finally hit puberty when I was twenty years old. I was really a late bloomer. Heck, I didn't even have hair under my arms until I was nineteen! It was very embarrassing. Within a span of a year my whole body changed, though. I remember seeing my face looking different in the mirror. My bones changed, my body changed, I grew, I started filling out; I went from this weird, gawky, scared-looking kid to what I look like now," he states with a self-deprecating laugh. "At my first class reunion from high school, there wasn't a single person who recognized me; not even my best friend." Lehmkuhl relates that he was so ashamed of his looks that be didn't know what color his eyes were because he dreaded looking in a mirror. He still has a difficult time when people compliment his appearance.

Born Richard Allen Lehmkuhl to parents of mostly Germanic origin, he was never happy with the name he'd been given. "Everyone called me 'Rick' and when I went into the first grade in Catholic school, the nun kept calling out 'Richard Lehmkuhl' and I had no idea who she was referring to. She knew who I was because she kept repeating my name louder and louder. I didn't know that my name was actually 'Richard' and she scolded me severely, turning it into a really horrible experience for me. From that day forward I hated the name 'Richard'. I never liked the name 'Rick' either."

When Lehmkuhl was about twenty, he started studying German. At hand he had both a German dictionary and an old English one that his mother had given him. He explains: "I looked up the name 'Richard' and it had several different meanings, like 'to rule'. I went to the German dictionary to cross reference it and saw the word 'reichen' under 'reich', which means 'to rule'. After looking at all the meanings of the word ‘reichen,' I found it was the plural of the word 'reich'--which has the secondary meaning of 'rich'. In German they often add an -en to pluralize a word just as we add an -s in English. So "reichen' means 'riches'. In the verb form it means 'to give or to reach' which I thought was a pretty cool word."

Much to his surprise, Lehmkuhl found that it was rather easy to legally change his name. The judge inquired about his desire for the switch and Lehmkuhl learned that in California it's a valid reason to say, "I don't like it." That's exactly what he did and the name change took place on the spot. It was an easy transition for Lehmkuhl and those around him. His family and friends began calling him "Reichen" immediately and without much difficulty. "I've been 'Reichen' for thirteen years without looking back," Lehmhuhl states with a chuckle in his voice.  "I not only chose my name, I created it, so it's very special to me."

The full title of Lehmkuhl's book is Here's What We'll Say: Growing Up, Coming Out and the U.S. Air  Force Academy. It's a well-written tome and one of the most harrowing passages in it concerns a night during his freshman year when the author was abducted from his room, taken to an undisclosed place with a laundry bag over his head to be sadistically tortured and raped by at least two anonymous men. No living being deserves that kind of treatment. Why did he stay in what was obviously an environment that was hostile toward him?

Lehmkuhl coughs nervously before addressing the question. He assesses his motives by saying, "There were probably two reasons. One: the stakes were very high for me to be there. I'd been working since I was 16 years old to get into the Academy. I had gone through meeting all the Senators and Representatives, literally begging for their permission to go. I was also working my butt off since the beginning of high school to keep my grades up and participate in sports. I was very much involved in lots of extra curricular activities just so I could get admitted. Once I was there, it was drummed into my head that I was taking someone else's slot and that person wanted to be there more than I did. I wound up spending my whole time at the Academy proving that wrong. I wasn't about to give up and let other people make me leave. I really felt that way."

After a deep breath, the former Air Force Officer and lifetime pilot gives his second reason for staying: "I didn't want to be gay at that point in my life or at that point in my career in the Air Force. I was supposed to be a straight-jock-Air Force pilot and that was going to be my new persona. It didn't work out that way, though. So I was just shameful of what had happened to me and thought that if I ignored it, it would just go away," He adds, "That was the experience that sparked me to write the whole book. I decided that it would be a social action piece and I would get it published."

"When I first started writing it, I wanted it to be a memoir of my life and I would write it down as a word document because I had just read my Grandmother Lehmkuhl's book which had never been published. She wrote this amazing story about her whole family and it included descriptions of what my aunts and uncles were like and included lots of little incidents that she recalled. In my case, I just started out writing for myself and my family but I soon realized that I could tell of my experiences in the Air Force Academy from a unique perspective. I wrote an outline and decided to find an agent and a publisher. In the outline I figured that the first quarter of the book would focus on my life until I was 18 and the last three quarters would zero in on my four years in the Academy. The reason it seems like every third person in the Academy is gay is because I was concerning myself with the secret society of gay cadets that I belonged to," he states.

Continuing, Lehmkuhl says, "The current statistics indicate that 2% of the serving military is gay. It was probably the same at the Air Force Academy but I knew a maximum of 50 people who were either gay or lesbian over the four years I was there." On the other hand, Lehmkhul feels that about 13% of the Academy's population was female, "So the girls really had their pick-and the men were all very intelligent and athletic!" he laughingly adds. "There was more sexual activity going on with the girls than there was with the men--obviously."

Lehmkuhl has become a strong critic of our country's policy of "Don't ask/Don't tell" in the military. "The fact that I was tempted to have gay sex in the military is no reason to make an excuse for the exclusion of gay people from the armed forces," he says. "It's simple. We put young people together, whether they are straight or gay, and there is the distinct possibility that they are going to have sex. To single out gay people as being deviant, when heterosexual sex is pervasive in the military, is absurd. To single out gay people for exclusion because of the kind of sex they want to have is equally absurd."

Lehmkuhl not only talks the talk, he walks the walk in this matter. He has his own company called Fly Naked which helps the cause. He elucidates: "Fly Naked, my jewelry line for men, is inspired by my military and aviation background. I give 10% of the gross income of the line to support the Service Members Legal Defense Network that fights the ban on gays serving openly and honestly in the U.S. military." The jewelry can be purchased on-line at www.LoveandPride.com or at Fred Segal, and at Saks Fifth Avenue.

In his book, Lehmkuhl indicates that the fact his family was living in a trailer park was the impetus for his desire to join the Air Force Academy. He still feels that way. "You know, you grow up in a trailer park and you see a lot of things that other people never experience. There was a reason why every single family was in that park. Each would have their own ...I'm going to call it ‘faults'...because no one wanted to be there. There weren't any people I knew who really chose to live in that place, whether it was a family who was dealing with drugs or a family that was dealing with obesity or even pure laziness. Whatever it was, they were there because those reasons were keeping them financially down. It was a place we all wanted to get out of. It was almost as if the kids resented their parents because of this and the kids seemed to have the attitude that they had to do something so that they could escape the trailer park. My best friend from the park went on to become a chief of a fire department. He's successful and a leader. He provides for a big family and has everything he wants. I'm really proud of him."

After being graduated from the Air Force Academy and serving his stint in the military, Lehmkuhl became something of a public figure when he was cast in the then-new reality series, "The Amazing Race". Much has been written about how people make audition tapes and submit them to the show's producers, but that isn't how Lehmkuhl was cast.
"I was in a restaurant in Los Angeles with a friend of mine and a casting director walked up to me out of nowhere and asked if I knew of ‘The Amazing Race'?," Lehmkuhl recalls. "The man explained that it was a race around the world for a million dollars and he invited me to come in to CBS for an interview. He asked if I had a brother or father who looked like me. I told him that I was in a relationship with another man and the guy said that he needed us both to come in. My then-partner Chip and I went in to the interview and Chip was more excited than I was. We were told that we represented a side of the gay population that didn't often get exposure on television. He kicked off the pair that had already been cast as the gay team on the race and he put us on. We went on the race and something weird happened-we just kept going. We started to feel that we were invincible. On the last leg of the race one team got stuck because of some crazy flight thing in Hawaii and they had no chance of competing against us. Then it was just us and another team. Ultimately we won because we had a faster taxicab driver." Lehmkuhl pauses for a moment and then adds, "Boom! My whole life changed!"

The real reason for this conversation is not only to explore the past experiences in the actor's life but also to discuss the project with which Lehmkuhl is currently involved: My Big Gay Italian Wedding. The comedy puts together the ingredients for a hilarious comedy: an Italian-American family who learn that their son [played by author Anthony Wilkinson] wants to marry another man who is of Polish extraction [Lehmkuhl]. Ultimately the parents agree to the union but only if it's performed by a Catholic priest AND if the other groom's mother also attends. Toss into this batter some assorted Italian relatives, a sister who wants to join a replacement cast of Mamma Mia, a cross-dresser, some feuding lesbians and an ex-boyfriend and a delightful comic panatone rises. It's classic farce and Lehmkuhl easily fits into the madness. In fact, he is making a very impressive stage debut in this vehicle. He's learned about comedy in his television appearances-especially as Niles Crane's long-lost son in Frasier and several soap opera roles. His voice projects without amplification and he has considerable stage presence. Oh, there's another thing: he sings! A cappella, no less! His first act rendition of "My Italian Boy" is a genuinely touching moment that firmly establishes his character's relationship with the man he plans to marry. Lehmkuhl handles the song extremely well.

"I have two solos," the actor states incredulously. "I never even considered myself a singer and David Boyd, the writer of the show's music, has been amazing. He's been working with me and he has brought a part of my voice out that I never heard before. I do another solo at the end of the show and when I performed it last night I couldn't believe that my throat was making such wonderful sounds," he laughs. "The whole cast came up to me afterwards and told me how far I'd come. It was just goose bump time!"

When questioned about whether he'd like to go on to Broadway, there is no hesitation from the actor. "Oh hell, yes! Absolutely!" He then explains how when the cast first got to the theatre after weeks in a rehearsal studio, he realized how much he was enjoying it the experience. He thought: "I love this so much! I want a bigger theatre. I want a bigger stage. I want this production to go bigger. I want everything to be bigger! It's definitely a contagious feeling! "

When questioned about what kind of role he'd like to play, Lehmkuhl comes up with a character who steals from the rich to give to the poor. "Maybe a musical version of the Robin Hood legend," he suggests. He laughs and gets serious by saying, "I wouldn't even have to be a lead in a bigger play. I would just love to be part of any Broadway production." Unfortunately Barefoot in the Park has already been revived because Lehmkuhl would have made a sensational Paul Bratter. One could also envision him as Nick in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? or as Older Patrick if the rumored revival of Mame becomes a reality.

For now, though, people who like to spot new talent can enjoy Lehmkuhl's New York debut in My Big Gay Italian Wedding. He's having a great time on stage and is thrilled to be working with the talented cast. "It's an incredible time for me. You know, I ripped off part of our picnic table in the backyard as a kid and put a towel over it so I could perform shows under the table. I did lots of plays in middle school and I always got the lead in the high school productions. This is my first time being in front of a live audience since those days. This is serious and I'm loving every minute of it! I'm growing in the part and beginning to do some exploration with the character. This show has a cast that is classically trained for the most part and I know they're professionals because of how patient they are with me. They're all so cool and helpful. With their assistance I feel that I'm finally up to speed."

Lehmkuhl is very happy to know My Big Gay Italian Wedding is supporting Broadway Impact which is a community of actors, directors, stage managers, fans, producers - pretty much anyone who has ever seen, been in or worked on a Broadway show - united by the simple belief that anyone who wants to get married should be able to. This is a theme explored in the comedy and there's a large ad for it in the play's program. It's also something that Lehmkuhl strongly believes in. "Every little thing we do for this spreads awareness for the cause," he proudly states. "When is this country going to stop allowing people to ever say, ‘I deserve something that this person doesn't'? When you tell someone that gay marriage is wrong, you're basically saying "I deserve a right that some other person doesn't deserve. It's putting yourself on a pedestal of arrogance and it's just plain wrong and in bad taste. It's un-American and a horrible way to think. No one should believe they deserve something and someone else doesn't."

Audiences are having a wonderful time at My Big Gay Italian Wedding. They're laughing at the jokes, singing along with the music and applauding like mad. Most importantly, they are beaming as they leave the theatre. Obviously they've enjoyed themselves immensely and have had a good time watching Reichen Lehmkuhl's New York stage debut. Once again this remarkable young man is going through a Hans Christian Anderson-like transformation and is so successful on stage that there's no doubt he'll be a regular fixture as a legitimate actor. Hey, are the Weissler's looking for someone to step into the role of Chicago's Billy Flynn any time soon? With his newly discovered singing abilities, Reichen Lehmkuhl would be an inspired choice for the part.
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To learn more about MY BIG GAY ITALIAN WEDDING or to order tickets for it, go to: http://www.biggayitalianwedding.com/.

 

 

 

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