BWW Blog: Lily Erb - I Was a Cow

There comes a time in every young actor's life where they're cast in a challenging role. Whether the part is physically demanding, musically difficult, or just a strange role to play, all actors have been there at some point or another. When most people recall their hardest roles, it's a fond experience. Maybe they were a lead dancer in Anything Goes, and they hadn't taken one tap lesson in their life. Maybe they were Princess Fiona in Shrek the Musical, and they had to paint themselves green in between scenes. Maybe they were Cinderella in Into the Woods, and they had to fall flat on their face every other scene. What was my hardest role? I was the front end of a cow.

My school recently put on a production of Into the Woods. The story revolves around a young couple trying to undo a spell in order to have a child. One of the ingredients they needed to undo the spell was a cow as white as milk (redundantly named Milky White). That's where I came in.

I did volunteer for the role. That's a given. I don't think you can force anybody to be a cow. It's a deed that has to come of your own free will. After my best friend, Kevin, and I had committed to being the respective front and back ends of Milky White, the director ordered a 500 dollar cow suit from China. I had no idea what to expect until it arrived.

The costume was glorious. Big, white, and crammed into a tiny cardboard box all the way from China. The head was styrofoam. The body was a huge quilt with a zipper, tail, and les holes. The hooves had one-size-fits-all flip flops hot glued on the inside. I was in awe. From the moment I stepped into the quilted cow torso, I instantaneously rethought my decision to be the cow.

I can honestly say I've experienced the way a cake bakes. After mere seconds of being inside the cow, you begin to sweat. After a few minutes, the sweat is rolling down your body. I lost almost ten pounds of water weight during the week of the show. Kevin and I would emerge from the cow, drenched in sweat and begging for water. All I can say is, thank god I was the front end! Kevin was stuck at a 90 degree angle for every scene, whereas I was more 135-ish. The cow's head had a small, three inch slot covered in white mesh for me to see out of. From that slot, I got a very scenic view of the floor in front of me. Occasionally, I would see the feet of the actors going through their scenes. Poor Kevin could see nothing at all. He followed me blindly, wherever we went. We're very lucky we didn't walk right off the stage!

Kevin and I memorized how much time we had between scenes because those precious few minutes were our sweet relief. We would walk off stage and collapse into a heap of cow. I would rip off the styrofoam head and unzip the torso as quickly as possible. Kevin would stick his sweaty head out of the top of the quilt and sip his water bottle from his spot on the floor. People would look at us with pity and strangely, fear. The worst was getting back up on our feet, because we had to have somebody zip us up from the outside. Sometimes,it was a backstage kid. Sometimes it was the Baker, or the Baker's wife. Occasionally it was the Mysterious Man, but more often than not it was Jack. Soon enough, most of the leads knew how the cow suit functioned.

Some of our scenes were a really big hit. I think the best one was our big, showstopping dance number. When the director first told us that we had to dance, I thought he was joking. Nope! We legitimately did a choreographed dance number inside the cow suit. The dance was pretty simple, but we had a big finish. Feedback from audience members has been nothing but positive. When I first heard the audience laugh, it made me feel like all the sweat and back pain was worth it.

Being a cow can change your perspective on a lot of things. I really appreciate all the work that goes into such a thankless role now, as opposed to my ignorant pre-cow self. Being a cow is also incredibly lonesome. You don't get a feeling of solidarity with the actors because there were no lines or songs for you to memorize. What's even stranger is that when you're in the cow costume, people will treat you like a cow. Nobody talks to you, they just stare at you with a weird mixture of pity and indifference. I had people come up to me and absent-mindedly pet my styrofoam head like I was a dog. They tied a piece of rope around my neck and dragged me around like a beast of burden.

But through it all, I still believe it was worth it. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it. I don't regret it, and while it was the hardest role I've ever done, it wasn't my least favorite! And as they say, there are no small parts, only small actors.