An Unhealthy Man Lectures You On Medical Issues at United Solo

Vincent Clark, a veteran Washington, DC area actor, has based his play on personal struggles with matters of health. Clark is a founding member and 30-year veteran of the Washington Stage Guild, one of the DC area's most respected theatre companies. He is also a member of Actors Equity Association. This production is presented as a part of the 2018 United Solo Festival and is an Equity Approved Showcase.

As promotional materials state: "The world's most eminent patient takes you a comic romp through the joys of medicine, surgery, pharmaceuticals and health insurance. A feel good comedy about being sick! You'll die laughing!"

As the title character explains as the play begins:

"I am a 63 year old, one-eyed diabetic with high blood pressure and cholesterol, three cardiac stents, an enlarged prostate, compressed vertebrae, rotting teeth, clinical depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and severe plaque psoriasis.

"And if I appear a little lopsided, it's because I have had a bunch of minor strokes-which I need like a hole in the head."

Mr. Clark says:

"I had originally intended to use this material as a piece of stand-up comedy. I then decided to make a short film just to amuse my friends on YouTube and Facebook. When I tried the script out at the Kennedy Center's 2016 Page-to-Stage Festival, people encouraged me to perform it as a theatre piece.

"As I developed the script, I enjoyed the advice and encouragement of a close circle of professional writers and theatre people. Some of them saw things in this play that I did not, and encouraged me to explore dimensions of my health experiences that I had not considered.

"As a result, I am very excited about performing the play at the United Solo Festival, but also a little apprehensive. I will, after all, be revealing things about myself that even my closest friends don't know."

Vincent Clark, a veteran Washington, DC area actor, has based his play on personal struggles with matters of health

Words of Wisdom from an Unhealthy Man

On his medical history:
When I was born, I had the post-partum depression.

On nurses:
If you have given your life to nursing, and anyone disrespects you, let me know and if that guy is shorter than five feet and weighs less than 130 pounds, I will kick his ass.

On health insurance:
Give me bankruptcy or give me death!

On a side effect of medication:
Hyperactivity - "It's 2 AM. I'm going to write a novel, rewire the house, and drive Putin out of the Ukraine. Back in half an hour."

On another side effect of medication:
Thrush?-?an oral yeast infection. So much yeast! You could stick a stalk of wheat in my mouth and pull out a loaf of Wonder Bread.

On nutrition:
I've never met a carbohydrate I didn't like.