ActorQuest - Kristin Huffman Goes Inside 'Company' 14

In November, Kristin Huffman made her Broadway debut as Sarah (flute, piccolo and sax) in John Doyle's production of Company.  The actress, with a new series of tales that go inside the making of Company from an actor's perspective, starting at the Cincinnati Playhouse and on to New York, continues her stories about a 15-year career that has led her to the door of the Ethel Barrymore Theatre.

This is the fourteenth story about the "Making of Company."  If you haven't read the others, go back and do so and then rejoin us here!

SCENE FOURTEEN:  LIFE ON THE WICKED STAGE

Still waiting for our Company contracts to be negotiated, I decided to make ends meet while waiting to make my Broadway debut by agreeing to teach yet ANOTHER little kid class at the Performing Arts Center.  It was entitled "Young Broadway Voices".  I wanted to call it "Bratty Kids Sporting Stage Mothers Class", but I thought it was too lengthy.

This time around, instead of the five kids I usually have, I had thirteen girls and Josh.  A couple of the kids were my own young voice students so I knew they would behave. The rest of them had to be broken in. In our first class they were relatively respectful, but my comic sarcasm went way over their heads as usual.  Paula, my young college assistant, laughed a lot though so that was worth it. I enjoyed saying things like, "Anna, if you keep twirling around like that when we are trying to warm up our voices, I will slice off your little arms and legs so that all you can do is spin in one place". Paula's laugher and the shock on Anna's face was worth the hour and a half torture I would have to endure each Tuesday night.

My brilliant idea for this class was to have the children come up with introductions to the various songs I would assign them.   The theme was "It's a Small World" and I planned to  use that song at the beginning and end of the show while featuring songs from musicals that were based in other countries in the middle.  For instance, we had a song from France in Les Miserables. Then from Austria in The Sound of Music. Vietnam was represented by Miss Saigon and so forth.  The kids, much better at computers than I am, Googled the synopsis of each show and then they came up with their own short introductions. 

In trying to stay "educational"I told them that we were going to pretend they had been hired to be in a Broadway show. They all knew I was, so I felt I had some leverage. My secret plan was that this thinking would force them into the rules for professional children. Paying attention. Showing up on time.  Memorizing quickly.  NOT spinning around the room like a crazy person.  And certainly not having stupid excuses like 'My mother forgot to pack my music in my designer backpack today". 

Most of the kids got on fine. But every class has it's 'know it all".  This one had Cindy.  She actually had a nice voice and so I gave her a couple of things to sing.  Duets with other 'weaker' children seemed the right thing to do.   That was before I found out that she was also a tattle tale.  "Sarah doesn't seem to know her music".  "Brooke seems to have forgotten her tap shoes".  Cindy always raised her hand to tell me these things, but, politeness aside, she was highly irritating. 

The week before our big recital for the parents I got an email from the director of the Center.  She said she had gotten a message from the Grandmother of Cindy.  This Grandmother happens to be the president of the local Fine Arts society.  I could hear strains of "pick a little, talk a little" starting in my head.  The crux of the email was that one of the girls in the number "My Favorite Things" was pronouncing the word "strudel" as 'strut-all" and Grandma wanted to be sure I knew how it was really pronounced so as not to embarrass myself.  

I PLAYED "MARIA" IN THE SOUND OF MUSIC FOR 150 PERFORMANCES, TOURED GERMANY AS "CHRISTINE" IN AN ENTIRELY GERMAN- TRANSLATED PHANTOM AND I AM GOING TO BE ON BROADWAY IN THE FALL.  Ok…I didn't say that, but I thought it really loudly.

The director said she was laughing as she wrote me the letter about all this, but I called her back and said, "WHAT THE HELL IS "STRUT-ALL" ANYWAY?"  Then I calmly explained to her that Cindy was big tattle tale and should mind her own business and not tell on poor Megan who had a speech impediment and for whom English was a second language.  I left it to the director to put that in a letter to Grandma.

That same week my parents sent me a card that had three nuns on the front singing "Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens.  Bright Copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Father McCafferty in a G-string. These are a few of my favorite things".  I thought about giving Megan these alternate lyrics to sing because I delighted in the idea of Grandma having to explain to Cindy the concept of a G-string.

Finally the big recital day came and I had decided, stubbornly, NOT to correct poor Megan again on the pronunciation of that famous German dish.  I anticipated a certain gleeful feeling.  Like the one I get when a stage mother hears her kid sing wayyyy off pitch for the first time in public and cringes.  Like the one I get when Josh pinches one of the brattier girls in the ass and then gives her a wink.  Like the one I get when I answer every stupid question that these little ones ask with, "I am going to be on Broadway soon so stop bothering me with your petty problems". 

I felt this same glee as I heard Megan sing "Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strut- alls".  Ahhhhh  life on the wicked stage. 

Kristin's column sponsored by:  www.gardengate.unfranchise.com   "Visit us for cutting edge products in health care, nutrician, weight management, makeup, skin care, website solutions and much more!"  THE ONE STOP SHOPPING EXPERIENCE! For more information also visit KristinHuffman.net.

Photo of Kristin Huffman by Walter McBride/Retna Ltd.