30 Days Of NYMF: Day 13 FAT CAMP
Fat Camp
By Randy Blair, book and lyrics and Timothy Michael Drucker, book
OPRAH
(In classic Oprah "excited" delivery.)
Oooookaaaaaay! We're back and talking teenage obesity. Our next guests are the writers of a new musical taking the world by storm and tackling this very issue. Please welcome Pulitzer winners and Nobel laureates, Randy Blair and Timothy Michael Druckerrrrr!!!
(Deafening applause. A few TV sets break across America. Somewhere, a woman goes into unexpected labor. Randy and Tim enter.)
OPRAH
I just have to say - I knew you two were talented, but I am floored by your hotness.
RANDY
Oh, Oprah.
OPRAH
Now tell me: why a musical about a FAT CAMP?
RANDY
It's very simple, really. Money.
OPRAH
(Bewildered.)
You're in it for the money? But, I thought we were going to discuss teenage obesity...
TIM
Of course we are, Oprah. We're just yanking your chain. (Beat.) Ahh!
I just said "Oprah" on Oprah!
RANDY
I apologize, Tim is being annoying today.
TIM
Yes I am... Oprah!
RANDY
The original idea came out of my desire to bring the experience of overweight teenagers to the stage. There are so many interesting and pertinent issues to be explored dramatically in the areas of body image and self esteem. All audiences can relate and benefit. Plus I really wanted to create a piece in which a character actor who usually only plays secretaries or slobs could be the lover, hero, dancer, or star.
TIM
There are so many talented performers in this show who finally have a
forum where they can showcase their amazing gifts. Their voices alone
are incredible, not to mention how absurdly hilarious they are!
OPRAH
Wow. How would you best describe the show, guys?
TIM
Better than Cats.
RANDY
And shorter than Wicked.
TIM
It's everything you ever wanted to see onstage, plus a real rock score.
RANDY
We have an incredible composer, Matt Berger, who does indie-rock and has totally voiced the world of these characters.
TIM
It's extraordinary when everyone is rocking out, just being themselves. That's part of the message: discovering how to love yourself, no matter the circumstances.
OPRAH
(Wiping the tears from her eyes.)
Excuse me. I've just... never been so moved by anything in the entire history of this show.
TIM
That's understandable.
RANDY
We did win the Nobel Prize.
OPRAH
Please tell our audience when the show is playing and how to get tickets.
RANDY
We're at the palatial Acorn Theatre at Theatre Row on 42nd and 9th,
September 30th - October 8th. You can get specific information and buy tickets at www.nymf.org/fatcamp!
OPRAH
Well I'm sure after this episode airs it'll be all sold out, so buy your tickets today! And thanks for being on the show, guys.
TIM
(Savoring the last opportunity.)
No, thank you - Oprah!
RANDY
(Jumping on the couch ala Tom Cruise.)
I love this show!!!
BLACKOUT.
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