re: Ethel Merman Quotes

[TabooPhan1]

What are some favorite Merman quotes you have? I personally can't choose just one...

[G_Schlozinski2]

the story i have in mind can't be told here.
but you'll get the drift if i tell you it involves miss merman in her dressing room with a hand mirror, and the arrival of a young assistant stage manager... "five minutes, miss merman..."

[morosco]

My favorite was a quote that appeared in the book "Broadway Day and Night". Merman visited Harvey Firestein in his dressing room after a performance of TORCH SONG TRILOGY and he asked her what she thought of the play.

MERMAN: I thought it was a piece of sh*t but everyone around me was screaming and laughing so what the f*ck do I know?

[Gothampc]

"If people could do what I do, they'd be up here doing it."

[morosco]

"Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I've been very good to broadway."

[madbrian]

"Elaine, just go to New Haven and sing the f'in song"

[PalJoey]

"Nice voice. Nice dress. Dyke, ya know."

[PalJoey]

"Where the FUCK does that kid get a mouth like that?!?"

[PalJoey]

And, of course, the ultimate:

"Call me Miss Bird's Eye, but this show is FROZEN!"

[JoeKv99]

My favorite (toher 2 youngs kids as they walked around Central Park) "You don't want to go to the zoo, you don't want to play on the swings, what the fcuk DO you want to do?"

[allofmylife]

Ernest Borgnine allegedly said his marriage to the Merm only lasted days for one reason. Who wants to wake up to a woman screaming "HEY ERNIE!!!!!!!"

[Gypsy9]

Regarding a young actress who was late for her entrances in ANNIE GET YOUR GUN, Merman wanted her fired. When the stage manager mentioned that the actress was a protege of Richard Rodgers (the producer) Merman replied, "I don't give a damn--tell him to go fu*k himself! I want her fired!"

[Broadwayboy2631]

They dont make fantastic divas like Merman anymore...

[PalJoey]

And when she summoned Jerry Orbach to her dressing room during the Granny Get Your Gun revival, demanding to know what he was "doing" upstage of her during one of her scenes.

"Nothing, Miss Merman," he protested.

"You are too, Orbach. I got eyes in the back of my head."

"Honest, Miss Merman," he pleaded. "All I'm doing is reacting."

"I knew it!" Merman crowed. "Let's make a deal--you don't react to ME and I won't react to YOU. Deal?"

[jv92]

Not a quote, but a funny Merman story-
There was the time when Donna McKechnie was on tour with her in some show (Call Me Madam?). It was her last night and she began to cluck in the middle of a scene and make rather odd faces. Donna thought she was having a stroke. Turns out it was an old vaudeville tradition. On a performer's last night, someone would try to get them to go up on stage.

[Lavieboheme3090]

"O good to New Haven and sing the F*UCKING song Elaine"

[Funny Face]

On a performer's last night, someone would try to get them to go up on stage.

Huh??

[Gothampc]

Ethel once went on a talk show and sang I've Got Rhythm with peanut brittle in her mouth.

[Kringas]

Why don't you go to New Haven and singing the f*cking song, Elaine?

[postergirl]

The expression "go up" on stage means to start laughing, Funny Face

[wonderfulwizard11]

Funny Face - What jv92 meant is that, one someone's last night they would try to get them to "go up on their lines", or to make them forget their lines.

[Funny Face]

Aaaah, thanks ;D

[bschneid76]

After losing the Tony for Gypsy to Mary Martin for Sound of Music she said "Well, you can't buck a nun."

[Kringas]

Elaine, just go to New Haven and sing the f*cking song!

[EdmundOG]

Can someone explain to me why the New Haven line is funny at all, let alone why it had to be posted four times by five people?

[AC126748]

Elaine Stritch was covering Merman in CALL ME MADAM on Broadway and appearing as Melba, who sings "Zip", in PAL JOEY in New Haven simultaneously. One day, during a snowstorm and on a two-show day, Elaine had to check in with Merman (who, of course, never missed) and then get up to New Haven to make her own curtain during the second act of PAL JOEY. Stritch was apprehensive, so Merman said, "Elaine, just go to New Haven and sing the f'ing song!" She told the story in ELAINE STRITCH AT LIBERTY. I hope I remembered it accurately.