Singing Feels Like A Really Good Poop

[Jordan Catalano]

Thanks, Glee! You always have a way of putting things simply so I can understand them and as a non-singer, I've always wondered what Judy, Elvis, Frank and all the other greats felt when they were singing.

Now I know.

[Gothampc]

Followed by the ever so serious scene where Mr. Shu tells Finn that he's mature enough to take over the glee club.

And that girl that took over for Quinn is really ugly.

[WiCkEDrOcKS]

Now those facial expressions make sense....

[GavestonPS]

Damn it, wicked! Now I'll never be able to listen to her sing again!

Can we all agree that line was the official "jump the shark" moment for GLEE?

And what do you want to bet one of the kids on THE GLEE PROJECT actually said it?

[ray-andallthatjazz86]

Embarrassingly enough, I watched the episode and it was Corey Monteith's character who spoke the atrocious line.
Jordan, love this thread, made me crack up as soon as I saw the title. WickedRocks, that post was priceless! That show must be one of the worst things on television right now, the dialogue is unbearable and I hate hate hate the new cast.

[GavestonPS]

Sorry, ray, I wasn't clear. I saw the show, too.

What I meant was the line probably came from one of the children and the GLEE writers "borrowed" it.

Speaking of which, I heard "skidouche" the other day on a show unrelated to GLEE. That lovely red-headed girl from Alabama or wherever must be pissed.

[Wynbish]

And when they can hold notes longer? Diarrhea

[ReggieonBway]

Skidoosh is a line from Kung-Fu Panda, the girl didn't make it up.

[ray-andallthatjazz86]

Gaveston, I had no idea the writers stole some of those awful lines from the GLEE PROJECT kids! I can't get over how bad the dialogue is. Jane Lynch's character doesn't make sense anymore and Matthew Morrison might as well be completely gone.

[Jordan Catalano]

You'll notice that with the new kids, it's essentially just the first season all over again.

Unique=Kurt
New less annoying girl who thinks she'll never get the guy = Rachel
Football player who doesn't want to sing = Finn
Puck = Puck
Bitchy Cheerleader = Quinn

Plus Sue is a full on bitch again. Same script, new cast, it's like a revival.
Welcome to Ryan Murphy's world.

[karen24]

And somehow, the bitchy cheerleader, while she's obviously a Quinn replacement character, isn't as interesting as Quinn. She's just flat-out mean, with none of Quinn's more appealing qualities. I mean, not that Quinn was ever a "deep" character, but at least you could kind of see why Finn would like her. I can't imagine why any boy in the world would want to go out with what's-her-name - Kitty? She's just horrible.

[Jordan Catalano]

Well fear not. Because I'm sure in the next week or so we'll discover her sob story and why she's so mean and all will be forgiven. Until the episode after that when she's back to being the same bitch for no apparent reason.

[Borstalboy]

GLEE can't come up with anything original. Check out paragraph 5.
Ah-HA!

[ray-andallthatjazz86]

Bostalboy, brilliant!
Jordan, I noticed that too, though Unique = Kurt meets Mercedes (because Ryan Murphy is such a lazy Fuck he would use one new character to match two older ones). However, none of the new people have any of what made the original cast somewhat eclectic; as much as I've pretty much hate-watched the show from the getgo, I do think the original cast was a mix of "actors" who looked different and eclectic, now they've normalized everyone to look like they belong in an A&F catalogue.

[donte7162004]

Seriously, did one of the characters say that line? I thought this was a joke...

[Bettyboy72]

So if singing feels like a really good poop, then what is the sh#t shiver?

[tenorboyo]

V i b r a t o

[ClydeBarrow]

Do you think Unique is really bummed that he couldn't be Mercedes (as Frank-N-Furter) when they did RHPS?

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

I just came out of the bathroom and it felt like I sang an aria!

[My Oh My]

The young lady voice of that ladyboy--what's his/her/its name?--causes movement of bowel.

[GavestonPS]

Gaveston, I had no idea the writers stole some of those awful lines from the GLEE PROJECT kids!

I was just making up stuff, ray. I have no idea where they get the random lines of dialogue they give to the GLEE characters.

As borstalboy points out, an expression I thought came from THE GLEE PROJECT was actually borrowed from KUNG FU PANDA.

Obviously, I am not current on what the kids are watching these days. I apologize for creating confusion here.

[Jordan Catalano]

After I finished eating tonight at Chipotle, I used their facilities and made a joyful joyful noise.

[Wynbish]

Pavarotti could not do it better

[Rodgerdodger]

Calling it now -- Kitty's a total bitch because she was abused. She'll, of course, be pushed around for half a season and compensate by exhibiting psychotic behavior to all around her, only to have dear sweet Marley (or Finn, or even our lord and (traveling) savior, Kurt) teach her the importance of self-respect. Warm fuzzies will be had.

At this point, I'm just watching to oogle Chord Overstreet.

[GavestonPS]

I love how they pretend Chord Overstreet's "disability" is his face.

Poor, hideous thing.

[hyperbole_and_a_half]

That Marley chick is just literally the worst thing ever. In the Glee Universe, every kid has some Thing that makes them special, and that Thing is usually plastered all over the inside of their locker. That way, the writers don't have to bother with consistent, well thought-out characterizations; they just show teenagers from Tuckfussle, Iowa reading each other like drag queens in front of locker shrines to Barbra Streisand or Tatertots or whatever and pray that the audience doesn't realize how lazy it all is.

But that Marley chick has exactly one thing in her locker: a whiteboard that says "I love my mom!" And that's it. That's her character. Anytime anyone has to relate to her, either positively or negatively, it's through her mother. Newsflash to Glee writers: "has a mother" is not a worthwhile character trait.

The other major way the lazy writers tell (instead of show) us who these characters are is through Sue's put downs. If you are a character on Glee and Sue has a nickname for you, you know you have arrived and the writers have defined your niche in the Glee universe ("Urethra Franklin" is a perfect example of this). The writers can't even come up with a good taunt for Sue for this character because she is flatter and blander and more boring than a sugar-free marshmallow. This character would not have been allowed within fifty feet of Season One Glee. Her inclusion here as the next female lead of the series is baffling.

At this point I'm just hoping she develops some bizarre trait, like telepathy or echo-location, so Glee's final shark-jumping season can be over-the-top crazy instead of this milquetoast blahness.