Things hotels will usually do for you

[PalJoey]

Check your luggage.

Clean your room.

Check your luggage.

Bring you a hamburger and a glass of red wine.

Check your luggage.

Provide you with little soaps and shower caps.

Find you a hooker.

Check your luggage.

[ljay889]

See now this (and how it started) I find funny. Not DollyPop's annoying 'jokes' about Loretta Swit.

[Wynbish]

[tazber]

They also will check you luggage.

[PalJoey]

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

"Room Service!"

[artscallion]

[Playbilly]

My hotel room service test: if the dessert menu does not have ice cream sundaes, ask if they can make one. They are usually great, cuz the chef has a bit of creativity. If they won't make you one....go somewhere else next time.

[tazber]

Also, the housekeepers will offer you life lessons and advice.

[PalJoey]

Hotels can arrange to have threads deleted too.

[PalJoey]

I mean, CLOTHES MENDED.

[FindingNamo]

Regarding the original post, my first job was as a hotel porter when I was 16-18 and once a man I checked in asked "where can I find some *women*?," emphasis his. I honestly did not know. I regret not telling him about the nearby park where he could've gotten his needs met by the fellas, but I wasn't as bold as I am now.

[Mister Matt]

At a hotel in Fergus Falls, my boyfriend got up early for a swim while I slept in and we forgot the Do Not Disturb sign. The following ensued:

*knock knock*

"Housekeeping."

"No, thank you!"

*knock knock*

"Housekeeping."

"NO, THANK YOU!"

Door opens and 70 year-old housekeeping lady walks in. The lights are all off, blinds closed, and I'm in bed, naked under the covers. She walks right up to me lying in bed and asks, "Would you like your room cleaned?"

I sit up, "No, thank you!"

"What? I'm hard of hearing."

"NOOOO!!! THAAAAAANK!!! YOOOOOUUUUU!!!"

"Do you need fresh towels?"

"NOOOOO!!!

"Would you like me to come back later?"

"YEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!

"Okay, I'll be back in half an hour."



I was living a Coen brothers movie.

[PalJoey]

That's what got Dominique Strauss-Kahn in trouble.

[best12bars]

Leave Greta alone.

[Addison D.]

Kim K. stays at the Athenaeum.

I will bet any amount of money that she could not spell "Athenaeum" to save her LIFE.

[GlindatheGood22]

Stayed at a Hilton in West Palm a few weeks ago and they had the most passive aggressive snarky Do Not Disturb signs. They said something like, "I'm in here. You're out there. Let's keep it that way."

[best12bars]

"People come, people go ... nothing ever happens."

[Wynbish]

[Addison D.]

"People come, people go...people move chairs."

[best12bars]

Forbidden Broadway!

[Addison D.]

Grand Hotel was one of those shows that you sit in the audience and think (vis a vis 'Forbidden Broadway) "It's too easy!"

[EricMontreal22]

Back, in my umm wilder days, I used to dread that knock when you're hungover, sprawled on the hotel bed and you hear a persistance "howousekeeeeping!". I swear it would happen even with the do not disturb sign on, and a good few hours before check out.

[JerseyGirl2]

Wake up calls.

[Jon]

Best thing about the movie Grand Hotel was Garbo's reluctance to wear undergarments.

Also noticeable in Anna Christie.