Singing Feels Like A Really Good Poop

[hyperbole_and_a_half]

That Marley chick is just literally the worst thing ever. In the Glee Universe, every kid has some Thing that makes them special, and that Thing is usually plastered all over the inside of their locker. That way, the writers don't have to bother with consistent, well thought-out characterizations; they just show teenagers from Tuckfussle, Iowa reading each other like drag queens in front of locker shrines to Barbra Streisand or Tatertots or whatever and pray that the audience doesn't realize how lazy it all is.

But that Marley chick has exactly one thing in her locker: a whiteboard that says "I love my mom!" And that's it. That's her character. Anytime anyone has to relate to her, either positively or negatively, it's through her mother. Newsflash to Glee writers: "has a mother" is not a worthwhile character trait.

The other major way the lazy writers tell (instead of show) us who these characters are is through Sue's put downs. If you are a character on Glee and Sue has a nickname for you, you know you have arrived and the writers have defined your niche in the Glee universe ("Urethra Franklin" is a perfect example of this). The writers can't even come up with a good taunt for Sue for this character because she is flatter and blander and more boring than a sugar-free marshmallow. This character would not have been allowed within fifty feet of Season One Glee. Her inclusion here as the next female lead of the series is baffling.

At this point I'm just hoping she develops some bizarre trait, like telepathy or echo-location, so Glee's final shark-jumping season can be over-the-top crazy instead of this milquetoast blahness.

[Gothampc]

Which actor will piss off Ryan Murphy next so that for half a season they end up kissing "bad ass" Lauren.

Marley is Glee's version of Karen Cartwright. The character really doesn't work but the actress has already signed the contract. And character arcs were never really the strong point of Glee. So we'll expect some tinkering with the character and a few episodes in they will do a 180. Remember went Tina stuttered? Remember when Quinn went punk? Remember when Sam had the hots for Mercedes? Remember the black dancer that they couldn't find a character for?

Personally I think Marley's mother will die and she will turn to drugs. Then Finn, reciting the Mr. Shu lines which the writers were too lazy to change, will give a heartfelt talk to Marley and urge her to sing her addiction away. It will all be resolved in 30 seconds (because remember the show has to focus on the NYC students) and Marley will get hooked on caffeine instead opening the door for her to sing "Taylor, the Latte Boy".

And scene!