God Is Your Friend

[Addison D.]

Watch out, New Orleans!!

[tazber]

Can you imagine what god's facebook page looks like. He must have billions of friends.

I mean who can keep up with that? No wonder the author doesn't think god's his friend.

[GavestonPS]

All kidding aside and speaking as one who is not an atheist, I think the essayist has a point to the extent that we should all be a little humble about assuming we (or one book) can speak for the Creator of an Infinite Universe.

At the same time, I see no reason why people can't have a personal relationship with whatever small part of an infinite deity they are able to comprehend.

[TheatreDiva90016]

If that makes them feel better about themselves, then it's fine by me.

But the second they start telling me what God has told them, then I have every right to punch them in their lying face.


I remember when hearing voices in your head made you a crazy person.

[GavestonPS]

Now, Diva, you do NOT have the right to punch people with whom you disagree.

I said I'm not an atheist; but that doesn't mean I think a being who can create an infinite universe (or "multiverses", since physics is deciding there are probably more than one) is sending me personal messages. But that doesn't give me the right to strike those who have other ideas.

[SNAFU]

Lean closer GavestonPS so I can slap you hard!

God told me I should!

[TheatreDiva90016]

Oh, honey, you know I'm just talking smack.

Even though I'm an Athiest, I still have plenty of friends who believe, and some friends who are very religious. I just sit and smile when they tell me God has a plan for me.

Frankly, if there is a plan for me, I'd like to see it ahead of time so I can maybe do some planning of my own...

[GavestonPS]

Even if we only consider the universe we ALL can sense, the one constant is change. So I don't for a moment think God has everything planned out; that really doesn't seem to be His nature. (I also don't think He is somewhere outside of us, taking orders like a waitress.)

And of course I knew what you meant, Diva and SNAFU. My understanding of the spirit is so non-authoritarian, it's not even worth the effort to slap me. No preaching from this corner (but no free Bibles either).

[Jay Lerner-Z]

I would consider myself a believer, but often wonder about why a supreme being would necessarily be all sweetness and light - maybe God is an asshole.

[Addison D.]

I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew,
I just can't abide a sinner like you.
God can't either, that's why I know it's true,
That Jesus loves me but he can't stand you.

I'm going straight to heaven, boys, when I die,
'cause I've crossed every "t" and I've dotted every "i"
Why, my preacher tells me I'm God's kind of guy,
That's why Jesus loves me, but you're gonna fry.

God loves all his children, by gum,
That doesn't mean he won't incinerate some,
Can't you feel those hot flames licking you?

I'm raising my kids in a righteous way,
So don't be sending your kids to my house to play,
Yours will grow up stoned, left-leaning and gay,
I know - Jesus told me on the phone today.

Jesus loves me, this I know
And he told me where you're gonna go,
There's room for your kind down below
Whoa, whoa, whoa

Jesus loves me, he loves me real good. I know he does. He called me up on the phone today and told me how much he loves me. He said, "Son, I love you." He speaks English pretty well, considering it's a second language for him. You can talk to him, too, you know. I've got a 900- number in Tulsa you can call him at, I do it all the time. He'll be glad to hear from you. I talk to him everyday.

Jesus love me, but he can't stand you.

"Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you", The Austin Lounge Lizards

[GavestonPS]

I would consider myself a believer, but often wonder about why a supreme being would necessarily be all sweetness and light - maybe God is an asshole.

He is in the Torah and (I'm told) the Qu'ran. God is God, and He creates volcanos as well as babies.

The "God is Good" thing is something Christianity inherited from Zoroastrianism. But the latter had TWO gods, a good one and an evil one. You can see the legacy in some of the New Testament's juxtapositions of God and Satan.

(Just to save Christians some time, Christianity does not see God and Satan as equals, the way Zoroastrianism sees its good and evil gods.)