Because I am curious and in the mood for a good laugh, I'd love to hear some stories of the Merm at the stage door or just funny stories involving her in general. GO! Let's have some fun.
"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal
"I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello
You want to see Ethel at her best, watch "It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World". That movie is funny.
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
I looked at all the posts in those two links. This one made me laugh the loudest: 5. During the run of ANYTHING GOES, Merman became friendly with dear, sweet Victor Moore. One night Moore ran as if his life depended on it. Merman stopped him and asked what was wrong. Moore said he just saw two men having sex in one of the backstage corridors. Said Merman: “well, where do you want them to do it.”
"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)
Off topic, but recently watched an unsold sitcom pilot Merman made in 1977, "You're Gonna Love It Here", in which she played Broadway star Lolly Rogers . . . running joke had her about to begin a tour of Mame . . . Austin Pendleton played her playboy son in the pilot.
Story and writing were pretty lame . . . written and directed by Bruce Paltrow . . . Ethel's last attempt at securing a weekly series for herself.
Here's two, best12bars: "Posing outside the Broadway theatre where they did their one-night only concert in May 1977, one photographer called out "Mary, take your hand away from Ethel's chin!" Ethel muttered "Shut up! She's holding up my face!""
"Some stage door Johnnies were waiting for Merman at the stage door at GYPSY way back when. They waited nearly an hour and a half. A limo pulls up. The stage door swings open and there she is. The fellows gawk and say, "Ooh, hello Miss Merman!" She hollers back, "HI BOYS!" and strides into the limo without giving an autograph. The stories go that she disliked giving autographs because they always made her late for where she had to be. In any event, I found that one funny. "
And now I'm finished looking up things for others. But it has been a blast re-reading all these old tales of The Merm!
"What- and quit show business?" - the guy shoveling elephant shit at the circus.
Not a stage door experience, technically, but at one stop during a concert tour in the 1970's, she had a greet-and-sign at one of the big record stores in town. (She probably scheduled these in order NOT to deal with people directly after a performance, but she WAS making herself available to her fans.) She was very prompt with both her arrival and departure times. She was pleasant, friendly, signed everthing and posed with everyone- a pro and a star in the very best way.
Ethel hated to fly and avoided it at all costs. Once, flying back to NYC from her (then) home in Denver, they hit some turbulence and she was convinced the airplane wass about to crash. Ethel jumped up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Ethel and Ernest Borgnine had just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, Ethel tells Ernie, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." Ernest is shocked and replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." Ethel responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"
Ethel Merman and her friend Benay Venuta were going out after a peformance of "Gypsy" one evening. Benay went to Ethel's dressing room where she saw Ethel struggling with a turban on her head, pulling locks of hair out from underneath it.
Benay went over to Ethel and said, "Oh, Ethel. That's not how you wear a turban. Let me show you," and tried pushing the strands of Ethel's hair back up under the turban.
Ethel pushed her hands away and said, "F*CK you, Benay! I need a little softness around my face."
"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal
"I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello
My friend was an usher for Gypsy with Merman. She was standing at the back of the house at the top of show, right where Merman was to enter for her opening line. According to my friend, Merman shouted her line so loud, and so close to her, that my friend went deaf in that ear for 3 days.
This is a real stage door story I saw personally. I waited for Ethel Merman after a performance of HELLO DOLLY. At least half the other people waiting were high school girls who had attended as a school group. They had loved the show and were totally excited at the possibility of seeing the star up close. They were enthusiastically discussing how great she was and what they wanted to tell her when she came out. When she appeared, dressed like your tasteful aunt on her way to lunch in a nice restaurant, the girls didn't recognize her. She seemed smaller offstage, and demeanor was ladylike. As she walked through, I told the people around me that she was there. They ignored me, ignored her, and kept looking expectantly at the stage door. I guess they were expecting her to come out in a red dress and singing "There's No Business Like Show Business." They were still waiting as her car drove off.
Mary & Ethel were taking a break during rehearsals for one f their TV specials. A photographer was attempting to get a picture of the two legends but Ethel kept fidgeting. Finally Mary said "Ethel! Pay attention, he's trying to focus!"
Ethel looked at the photographer aghast: "Both of us?"