In honor of the exorbitantly important elimination tomorrow – you know, the one that will essentially determine what sort of country America will come to be known as in the near future – DANCING WITH THE STARS is foregoing their own elimination this week. Instead, we'll be treated to a double-elimination next week.
Are you maniacally twiddling your fingers as I am?
So, anyway, instead we're left with a single night of DANCING WITH THE STARS: ALL STARS, aptly labeled "Fusion Week." And wouldn't you know, everything became a whole lot more clear when it was labeled as such. DANCING is like a big ol' fusion of bad TV and decent TV: the costuming from TODDLERS and TIARAS, the financial aspirations of AMERICAN IDOL, and the casts from those old sitcoms that your grandma used to make you sit through and the whole time you kept begging her to turn it off but all she wanted to do was iron and watch Kirstie Alley on VERONICA'S CLOSET. You know, those sitcoms that now only exist on the VHS tapes in your basement or on TV Land.
So 'Fusion Week' actually attempted to meld multiple dance styles into a single song, and, for the most part, it went pretty well. The competitors also took part in a swing dance marathon, unfortunately. Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani outlasted the others in the judges' eyes, and they were awarded the extra 10 points. Check out the scores below:
Apolo Anton Ohno & Karina Smirnoff: Cha Cha/Paso Doble, 27/30 (individual routine) + 6/10 (dance marathon) = 33/40
Selected quote from Len: "You came out and really attacked this. The cha-cha-cha was crisp and clean. The paso had some fire. Apolo Ohno … Apolo Oh Yes."
Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke: Rumba/Samba, 27.5 + 7 = 34.5/40
Bruno: "You did it with ease … that was wonderful."
Kirstie Alley & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Quickstep/Samba, 24 + 4 = 28/40
Bruno: "Whatever you do is always entertaining. Only you can turn Cinderella into a stripper. For that, it was brilliant."
Kelly Monaco & Valentin Chmerkovskiy: Foxtrot/Cha Cha, 27 + 9 = 36/40
Bruno: "That was a flashy cha-cha. Plenty of flash and plenty of dash."
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani: Tango/Cha Cha, 29 + 10 = 39/40
Bruno: "You were on fire. The shapes in the tango were absolutely fantastic. The cha-cha-cha, you've never been sexier. You turned me on!"
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas: Tango/Paso Doble, 30 + 8 = 38/40
Carrie Ann: "if you look fusion dance up in the dictionary, this is what you'd see."
Gilles Marini & Peta Murgatroyd: Argentine Tango/Samba, 28.5 + 5 = 33.5/40
Bruno: "Sultry and tense in the Argentine tango - exiting and erotic in the samba!
Following this week's round of performances, it appears Johnson (whose normal partner, Derek Hough, may or may not be sidelined for the duration of the season following his injury last week) has the potential to become the dark horse, capable of keeping what she's got (her technique) and build upon what she may not always have perfect (her presence) and winning the whole shabang. Alley is once again trailing at the tail end of the leaderboard, while the injured Melissa Rycroft, points-wise, took the night.