Happy New Year, Gleeks! ..Wait, what do you mean it's almost February? Please, it's totally still a new year, and with a new year comes - NEW GLEE! Are you psyched, Gleeks!? Tonight, its ladies choice - Sadie Hawkins hits McKinley High, and it's time for all the single ladies to grab a guy and cut a rug with the boy of their choice.
Tina brings up the idea of a Sadie Hawkins dance to the student council, but President Blaine isn't sold on it, but he's out voted by his own inner council. Sam is convinced the Warblers cheated at Sectionals, and keeps presenting theories to Blaine, even if Blaine is completely unsold on the idea. Kurt begins at NYADA and find it's pretty much exactly like high school, and finds himself drawn to a show choir (you can take the boy of New Directions, but you can't take the New Directions out of the boy), but Rachel tries to deter him due to their lack of status among the performing arts social status of NYADA.
With some help from Coach Bieste, Finn makes the assignment for the week - Sadie Hawkins, prompting the ladies to pick a tune and fella to take. Tina's intentions become clear as she performs "Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar - an anthem to her crush on - Blaine. When Tina asks Blaine, he rejects her, thus crushing her little gay crushing heart. Meanwhile, Kurt meets the lead of the unfortunately (and self-named) named Adam's Apples, who tries to sway Kurt to join with a performance of Sir Mix-Alot's "Baby Got Back".
Brittany talks Marley into asking Jake to the Sadie Hawkins dance with a little dash of "Tell Him" by Dusty Springfield to assist. Tina confronts Blaine on the humiliating rejection, only to find Blaine isn't a stranger to crushes - he's crushing on Trouty Mouth himself, Sam. After finding common ground and some lady chat swapping, Tina convinces Blaine to go to Sadie Hawkins as friends, and he agrees. Rachel tries to convince Kurt to give Adam a chance and take a stand by being the one to ask him out, which Kurt begins to toy with. Kitty, after being rejected by Jake, goes after the original Puckerman and convinces him to be her date to the Sadie Hawkins dance.
At Sadie Hawkins, the boys give the ladies a female empowerment tune in "No Scrubs" by TLC. Marley and Jake discuss the future of their relationship, which Jake begins to consider. Coach Bieste talks the wallflowers - including Sugar and Zizes, to get out there and find a man, while Kurt takes the plunge and asks Adam out for a coffee. In that moment, both at McKinley and NYADA - things go very swimmingly for all involved. Tina continues to crush on Blaine, but is upset when Sam interrupts their dance, leaving Tina alone - at her own dance. It's your party, Tina - you can cry if you want to.
The ladies take to the stage and bring a little Bruno Mars's "Locked out of Heaven" to the citizens of McKinley. Blaine and Sam present evidence that the Warblers have been using performance enhancers, but Finn isn't quick to believe it - until Trent (Dominic Barnes) comes forward and sings a tune on what has been happening at Dalton, confirming the allegations. The question is: Will Trent betray the Warblers?
Rachel and Brody get into a fight when Brody is late for dinner, ending their harmonious bubble, but Brody talks himself into her good graces again and dances his way into her heart. Back at the Sadie Hawkins dance, snow begins to fall on the "Snow-Ball" as Tina continues to crush on Blaine, Blaine only has eyes for Sam, Marley and Jake take a huge step forward, Kitty and Puck connect, and all while Ryder sings "I Only Have Eyes For You".
Brody agrees to move close to Rachel, who offers to have him move in, while Tina and the Too Young to Be Bitter club share their Sadie Hawkins dance experiences, leaving Tina to embellish quite a bit as the club is disbanded.
Lots is going on, eh, Gleeks? Wait till next week - it's about to get a little... naked. Until then Gleeks, no scrubs- yo!